A Random Bit of *meh*

I haven’t posted much of late because, well, I have no focus or motivation. I’m not really depressed but not really living either. More surviving hand to mouth. A gray existence without any real hope, dead boring actually. Oh there are bright spots, a friend to see, therapy and an occasional good time with Lyne. But the changes I long for aren’t going to happen most likely. It’s times like these that I understand the yearning some people have for an apocalypse, anything to end their stultifying existence. Me, I just don’t care any more.

A Friday of Random Tunes, Ten In Number And A Bit Late

Don’t You Need by Melissa Etheridge
Save A Prayer by Duran Duran
Never Gonna Stop by Rob Zombie
Too Much Of Anything by The Who
I Belong To You by Lenny Kravitz
Cyberia by Afro Celts
Delivering The Goods by Judas Priest
In My Time Of Dying by Led Zeppelin
Retro by Puya
Life On Mars? By David Bowie

Fuck The World

I really hate the world and everyone in it right now. If I could trigger the atomic apocalypse I would, let the microbes inherit the earth. Today’s oppressed are tomorrow’s oppressor. The religious still happily use their religion as an excuse to hate, torture and murder. It’s no coincidence that the U.S. military has been more openly religious and more prone to atrocity the last decade or so. Money and corruption have ruled the land and now the economy is in terminal meltdown.

As for me I just want to find a warm dark hole and quietly bleed to death.

A Random Friday Random Ten

All You Need Is Elves by Bob Rivers
Burnin’ Up by Judas Priest
United by Judas Priest
Don’t Need A Gun by Billy Idol
Heaven Help by Lenny Kravitz
Sound And Vision by David Bowie
Metal Messiah by Judas Priest
I’ve Done Everything For You by Sammy Hagar
Black Velveteen by Lenny Kravitz
My Man by The Eagles

A Happy Yule and Marry Christmas to all my Readers

Yes I know I’m an atheist but solstice celebrations are as old as history. So enjoy your time with your chosen family and tribe. Peace and Love to you all.

Won’t Get Fooled Again

I can’t say I’m surprised that Obama picked smiling theocrat Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at his inauguration, disappointed but not surprised. After all Obama pledged to expand Bush’s ill begotten ‘faith based initiative’, accepted an invitation to a rigged debate with McCain at Saddleback church and recently praised Warren for his work against AIDS. How long before Obama softens his position on queer rights or reproductive freedom? Fuck it; I’m going to sleep before I start drinking heavily.



For a more cogent analysis go to Pam’s House Blend or Queers United which also ahs a nice list of people to email to protest this outrage.

*sigh*

So broke, so tired lying in a bed with panting huskies and realizing I still have it pretty good. I do, I am reasonably healthy and live with someone I both love and like. I have a job that lets me work from home, which is cool. So I am not unaware have good things are for me. The problem is I’m not who I really am and am not even sure who the real me is. Sometimes I just want to sleep for a thousand years.

Yea For Kenneth Cole

I always considered Kenneth Cole too trendy and expensive to bother with. Now I’m reevaluating my position because of this ad.



Kenneth Cole has just done more for Transgender rights then the HRC ever has by giving us a very human face. So thank you Kenneth Cole for treating like we are human which is far more then we get from most of the world.

They are a bit expensive but I covet these gloves

Incoherent Randomness

Having no coherent thought processes this will have to do.

The LGBTIQ ‘leadership’ like HRC is basically bloody useless. They are hopelessly locked into an inside the beltway mindset. The power of grass roots organizing and direct action are totally lost on them. Thus the string of electoral defeats and queer issues already being shifted the very back burner for the Obama administration there to be forgotten. They seem not to know the effect that boycotts, sit-ins and strikes had on the black civil rights struggle.

I’m torn; I have a number of very religious and spiritual friends whom I dearly love. On the other hand I have a deepening contempt for organized religion. The exaltation of blind faith over reason and the disparaging of critical thought is incredibly damaging to the human race. It leads to kind compassionate people blindly following their church and voting to confirm the second class (at best) status of queers in this country.

Things like this lead me to start seeing the Joker not as a villain but as a role model.

Really Natasha, Why so serious?

Let’s put a smile on that face!

Another (somewhat) Late Friday Randomness Ten

Feed On Me by Judas Priest
Child In Time by Deep Puple
The Man Who Sold The World
White Lines (Oakland Fonk Mix) by Duran Diran
Dear Doctor by The Rolling Stones
New Sensation by INXS
White Christmas by Twisted Sister
Stand By My Women by Lenny Kravitz
Iron Head by Rob Zombie
Subterfuge by Judas Priest

A Short Blast of Randomness

Obama has finally made a cabinet pick I am enthusiastic about, Steven Chu as Secretary of Energy. Imagine a scientist, a Noble Prize winner no less, in a technical post. What a change from the last administration, a change for the better.

I am getting really very sick and tired of bigots and hatters hiding behind their religion as an excuse for their hatred. Here in the U.S. they usually claim to be Biblical literalists but somehow manage to wiggle out of any prohibition that they don’t like. Things like eating ham or shellfish or the whole rich men, camels and eye of the needle thing.

Defense and the National Interest is a great site if you want to understand what is wrong with the U.S. military. A particularly lovely quote from William Lind ;

‘That merely shows the right’s usual instinct for the capillaries. We would take half the defense budget, pile it in heaps, set it on fire and roast marshmallows over it and gain no less from it than we do now.’

That’s all for tonight, bye.

A Bit of Late Night Whimsy

I am a huge Richard O’Brien fan, The Rocky Horror Picture Show had a large influence on my coming out to myself. I also may be one of the few people in the world who actually liked Shock Treatment . I enjoy O’Brien’s twisted sense of humor and musical style.

Because I’m just a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania



Time means nothing never will again

A Cultural Misfit I

There are a number of cultural touchstones that I just do not get. One of them is Marilyn Monroe, she was not that good looking being average at best. She was a competent actress but showed her severe limitations when she tried to move beyond light comedy. She was also notoriously difficult to work with; being late to the set and blowing her lines take after take. Marilyn trying to sing ‘Happy Birth Day’ for John Kennedy is simply painful to watch. Yet Monroe is still a mojor cultural icon, I just don’t get it.

Speaking of Kennedy, I don’t get the whole cult of Camelot, which has grown up, around him. Kennedy was a great speaker, a centrist on domestic policy and a dedicated cold warrior. He was the one who escalated our presence in Vietnam and ordered the coup against Diem that plunged the country into chaos. Kennedy was the one who set into motion the string of assassination plots against Castro. Eisenhower did more for civil rights when he sent in the 82nd Airborne to enforce desegregation in Little Rock. Kennedy counseled going slow and not rocking the boat, luckily Martin Luther King did not listen to him. Kennedy’s best career move, as it was for many rock stars, was dying when he did. It played into the whole ‘martyred sun king’ meme. Take it from me, I was there, Camelot it wasn’t

The Sky Is Clear But The Mind Is Fogged.

Still can’t think well so here we go on a free association trip into the dark, dank, dusty recesses of my mind. Hmm, let’s try for something a little lighter this time shell we? I’m gender queer with a strong feme component. I plan to start a course of hormone treatment to feminize my oh so male body. What am I aiming for, what would my ideal body be? Intersexed with fully functional male and female reproductive organs. I want to be able to pass as male or female depending on how I present myself or confuse the hell out of people if I want. I want be able to be both father and mother, siring and giving birth to children, I know I can’t get this now but someday it will be possible though probably not in my lifetime. Still a gender queer girl can dream can’t she?

Tired can’t think

So how about a little Rock and Roll.









Perhaps tomorrow I can write a coherent sentence

If It’s Saturday It Must Be Random

Where to start, how about how tired I am being part of the group being used as the scapegoat de jur? We queers seem to be responsible for everything from the high divorce rate to the collapsing economy. Of course these are the same people who accuse any one they don’t like of being Marxists, they wouldn’t know a real Marxist if ze came up to them and kicked them in the balls. Their Christian Anti-Communist Crusade of the 1950’ ruined a lot of people’s lives. Their current Christian Anti-Homosexual Crusade is not only ruining lives but also killing us. The reason we need a Transgender Day of Remembrance is that we are being killed at a rate of better than one a month and brutally killed at that. Then these murderous thugs have the gall to accuse us of waging a ‘campaign of hate and intimidation’ because we dare to fight back after being declared second class citizen’s. You will notice that these bigoted hatters are using their usual tactic of hiding behind religion and using it to justify their hate. I really am sick of this.

A Depressing and Random Friday Ten

Just One Look by Linda Ronstadt
Through The Bamboo Forest by Tan Dun & Yo-Yo Ma
The Best Way To Travel by The Moody Blues
Planet Boom by Mötley Crüe
You Never Cry Like A Lover b The Eagles
Keep Me Comin’ by Kiss
European Son by The Velvet Undreground
Bloodstone by Judas Priest
Crionics by Slayer
Of Mice And Men by Megadeth

It’s a gas gas gas

Another Random Journey to the Depths of My Mind

I really am starting totally from a random place. Hmm, let’s start with religion, haven’t been there in awhile. The Pope is against the death unless it’s for queers . It seems the Cardinals who elected Benedict Pope thought his sojourn in he Hitler Youth was good experience for the job. This is not untypical behavior in any hierarchical religion; the people at the top always need someone they can scapegoat and other. Actually that is true of most hierarchical power structures. Religion just makes it worse by claming to be acting on their god’s orders. Then there is the whole ‘we’ll take away the questions, we’ll make you sure’ thing. The claim of absolute authority and the demand that you don’t think just believe and obey is a very nasty combination. It’s why emperors and dictators have aligned them selves with religions or created religious like movements, they want that power. Of course the need for an other to scapegoat leads to pogroms, the inquisition, witch burnings, crusades and the gulags. So if all the ‘good’ Catholics and Mormons could kindly fuck off and die I would appreciate it.

I am a nasty little bitch at times but not nearly as nasty as the devoutly religious can be.

Fuck Apple

I now officially hate Apple as much Microsoft. The stupid air port base station has stooped recognizing that it has an Ethernet cable plugged in. After my Mac Book died I was pissed but now just fuck off and die Apple. Steve Jobs is a sociopath and it shows in the sadistically crippled products he makes.

True Tails of My Mother

My mother is 90 this year and still going strong. She is a petite little blond who can best be described as feisty. How feisty, well as a kid in Idaho during prohibition my mom had problems with the local bootlegger. He was a nasty sort who was always yelling at the local kids and threatening their dogs. Finally my mother had had enough; she knew where he hid his stash. It was under a bridge in a culvert so she emptied all his bottles and refilled them with creek water. Shortly after that the bootlegger left town quite suddenly.

Later my mother’s family moved to Santa Monica in California, she remained both feisty and level headed. She was not in the least star struck as evinced when she rejected Mickey Rooney’s attempts to date her. She even resorted tom sending her sister to the door with an appropriate lie to get rid of him. My mother always did have excellent taste in all things.

BD/SM and Me

I have mentioned before that I’m mostly a submissive sometimes switch pain slut. I delight in taking the input of intense pain and with a bit of a mind flip getting an ecstatic output. Lately tough I have been wondering how much of the submissive in me is a way to grant myself permission to enjoy some of the kinkier forms of sex I fantasize about. After ball if I’m bound and helpless while someone thrusts a cock down my throat or sits on my face or comes all over my face it’s not really my responsibility I’m helpless right? How much of my sub nature is the result of societal pressure, the notion that any sex but married missionary sex between a man and a woman is dirty and sinful. Still a frighteningly common attitude but as far as I new damn near universal when I was growing up and I know I internalized those attitudes. While yes I would love a certain friend to play with my tits in public until I’m reduced to a warm puddle of goo while he takes bets from the crowd on how long it will take me to stop twitching after he stops. I also still wonder how much of my love of submission is a way of escaping the social strictures I grew up with.

A Thanksgiving prayer from William S. Burroughs

A very appropriate prayer from a brilliant writer and major league junky

Happy Smallpox-Blanket Day

The first day of thanksgiving was celebrated in 1637 in New England. The cause for the celebration was the puritan’s successful perpetration of the Mystic Massacre in which 600 to 700 Pequot’s were burned alive or shot trying to escape, most of them women and children. This was considered an act of God to be celebrated henceforth. It was a minor miracle that there were 700 Pequot’s to be massacred as they had lost 80% of their population to Smallpox in 1633. As bad as that was it was still better then other Eastern nations that had lost 90% of their population to Smallpox in 1616-1619. The official story of Indian and pilgrim sitting down to a peaceful dinner is all a dirty lie.

So by all means America stuff your faces and celebrate a history for conquest and genocide. I hope you choke.

The Unforgivable Sin

Star Trek and J.J. Abrams have committed the unforgivable sin, they kill a classic Corvette in the opening of the new Star Trek film. The young Kirk drives it over a cliff; unfortunately he doesn’t go over with it. I was just bored with Trek and trekies, now I actively hate them and Abrams. If you’re interested here is the lame ass trailer for this piece of drek;

An Extended Riff

I really do represent the past, a past that should be dead and buried. The Mormons and Catholics represent an even deader past. They are shambling zombies, shoot them in the head, burn the corpse and never look back.

Those family values and marriage they are protecting by denying your rights are all dirty lies. There never was a olden age of morality and innocence, those who claim there was are liars or delusional. The only golden age is the one all of you at the Join The Impact rallies across the country are creating.

Lear from the past but don’t let it control you. My generation tried and failed, learn from our mistakes and succeed. I belong to the dead, you are the living now go and live.

Meh

Really that’s all I’ve got to say.

I notice that all the ‘responsible’ types are warning that we queers should be careful, we mustn’t get too uppity with our demonstrations. We must be polite and not upset anybody. Well fuck that, power never yields anything unless challenged. So get out there and demonstrate, boycott, write letters, blockade churches and just generally get in their faces.

As for me it’s over really, I haven’t got much time left. I’m the dead past, cast me off and create your own future. Bury the hatred and bigotry, bury it alive if need be and create the lives you deserve.

Now excuse me as I toast the past and seal my fate forever

Be Loud, Be Proud

Go to Join The Impact and find out where your local protest for marriage rights is and get out there today. A message from Slash & Perla follows;

A Return Journey To The Center Of My Mind

The weariness that seems ready to overwhelm me is in large part my own creation. I know how to take care of myself, how to organize my time but I don’t do it. I ask myself why? Let’s explore this shall we?

Even as I type this I should be sleeping so why keep typing? I part writing has it’s own dynamic but also I have a self-destructive streak that predates my currently in remission depression. I am also quit lazy, but is that part of the self-destructive streak or a separate problem? Hmm, good question that, now do I have a good answer? I think they are intertwined, feeding each other and now overlaid with the ongoing depression. The feed off it and are fed by it, ah the complexity of the mind and life in general. Of course this is all intertwined with my gender queerness and the long suppression of same. So would taking the next steps and starting hormones coming out to the world in general solve these problems? Probably not but it would very probably start to tease lose the various intertwined strands.

Shadows of the Moon

White moonlight gives black shadows
Shadows like black blood on the gray skin of the Earth

A Burning Time

As I’ve mentioned the Phoenix legend fascinates me, to cones your self in fire and rise again reborn. But I’m also fascinated by fire in general; it’s purifying, destructive and trans formative power. Now the theocrats would love to see queers burn quite literally, but to the fire they send us and from the fire we shall return reborn.



We will walk through the fire and let it burn. We will return with the passionate fire and make your world burn so our world can rise from the ashes.

Bah Humbug

I hate this time of year I truly do. From November to January has brought nothing but pain and misery or the last twenty-nine years at least. I have had loved ones diagnosed with or die from cancer, I have been in auto accidents, I have nearly destroyed my marriage multiple times. I’m having a depressive episode even as I type, flying into rages and entertaining suicidal thoughts. The dark days seem to bring out the darkness in me. I want little or nothing to do with the world. Winter is for hibernating.

To make matters worse this year one of my sort of in laws is a dedicated Mormon. It’s going to be very hard to keep quite when all I want to do is rail at her and her miserable church to fuck off and die. Going to be a miserable Christmas.

W00T! (2)

1000 unique page views! It's been eleven month getting here but well worth it Enough self-congratulations,back to regular (?) blogging soon

A Random Journey To The Center Of My Mind

I’m too tired and too angry and too anxious for a coherent post so back into the inner dark. Clive Barker is one of my favorite writers/artists. Among his creations the Cenobites, Theologians of the Order of the Gash, are the most alluring to me. I so understand the pain/pleasure nexus they work from. To answer a unasked question I would solve the Lemarchand Configuration knowing exactly what would happen to me. I do want to explore the extremes of pain and pleasure and the ragged edge were they can merge and overlap. I am also fascinated by Barker’s concept of flesh as art through extreme reconfigurations of flesh. This crosses with my own desire for bodily modification to become the androgynous creature of my dreams. In may darker dreams I am an androgynous nightmare. Perhaps this is all the result of the fact that so much of society sees gender variant people as monsters. Perhaps it is that being an outsider I have always found the outsider/monster a sympathetic figure. Whatever the source the archetype of being a technological Phoenix arising from the fire of the destruction of my old life calls to me.

A Gender Queer Trans-Woman With A Hart Full Of Hate

This editorial in The Los Angeles Times pissed me off enough that I can’t respond rationally right now. Not even six hours latter. It brought out the dark nihilist side of my personality. The one that wants to shove a bomb up everyone’s ass;

Friday Random Ten, Evening Edition

Kozmic Blues – Janis Joplin
Pretty Maids All In A Row – The Eagles
Live And Learn – Clannad
Muscle of Love – Alice Cooper
The Under Tree World Of Jacques Cousteau – Bob Rivers
All Along The Water – Duran Duran
Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) – Mötley Crüe
All The Love In The World – Nine Inch Nails
Dread And The Fugitive Mind – Megadeth
Down To The Sea – Robert Plant

Short takes

Shorter Peggy Noonan People voted for change but don’t really want it.

Rock And Roll Is My Religion And My Law

Really this is all I’m capable of tonight



Some sympathy and respect




‘Cause we’re born to be wild



On the highway to hell

A Non-Citizen

5,376,424 of my fellow Californians have just told me I’m a non-citizen; someone who is not worthy of having the same legal rights as they have. It seems I’m not worthy because I might want to have legal recognition of a relationship they don’t approve of. It could be worse I could live in Arkansas in which case ther would be no way Lyne and I could adopt should we want to. Better a child should stay in an orphanage they be raised by a same gender or sex couple. We are obviously too vile to be trusted around children. How long before we are facing a similar initiative here in California? As a non-citizen how long before I’m striped of any protections or rights under the law by my fellow Californians?

As a non-citizen is there any reason I should respect the society around me? My answer is no, there isn’t any reason at all. So fuck this society and the bigots who so want to exclude me from it. The only thing I have for their little world is FIRE! I bid them to BURN!

Aftermath

It looks like California’s proposition 8, which enshrines discrimination in the California constitution, is going to win by about 53%. I am sick, depressed and mad. Very, very mad, I want revenge. Two quotes come to mind, Joe Hill’s when facing execution, ‘Don’t mourn, organize’ and Otto von Bismarck’s, ‘The best defense is a good offense’ The Iron Chancellor was right and we queers have been playing defense far too long.

So I think it’s time to go on the attack, we have two years to organize and put our own pro equality measure on the ballot. If we don’t win we need to keep coming back until we do win. I have zero experience organizing but hopefully some of you out there do and will help get the ball rolling. Death to discrimination, on to victory!

Live Blogging the election (along with 10 million other people)

11:25 PM DIXVILLE NOTCH, New Hampshire has spoken and it’s Obama big time, which of course means absolutely fucking nothing.

6:36 AM Well the polls are open in most states and the turn out looks to be high which will probably favor Obama. Starbucks, Krispy Kreme and Ben & Jery’s are offering free goodies to voters. This should be an interesting day.

7:50 AM A tweet from Alexander, five people a minute getting in line to vote a half an hour before the poles open. He laso reported that there is already trouble at the polling places. It seems our election system is predicated on low voter turn out. It cannot handle people actually exercising their franchise. I predict some epic meltdowns during the course of the day.

9:39 AM Still no results but lots of reports of long lines and voting problems . This is going to be a very messy election.

This election has been yet another battle over the sixties. That became obvious with the red baiting calls of socialist and bringing up Bill Ayers and the Weathermen. Can I just say enough! Let’s have an end to it. I’m a child of the sixties and I’m bored by all this, it’s the twenty first century let’s move on.

3:39 PM Well crap, with the first 50,000 or so votes counted McCain leads with 51% of the vote. If the wrinkled old white guy wins Lyne and I are out of here.

5:20 PM OK that’s more like it, Obama with 52% of the vote and 78 electoral votes to McCain’s 34. Ah yes the right bloggers are already whining that it’s all do ‘media bias’ Yep all those left wingers like Murdock. Of course these are the same people that are blaming Carter for the financial meltdown, bunch of delusional twits.

5:44 PM Whoa, Obama has a 53% to 46% lead in Florida with 38% of the precincts reporting. He wins Florida and McCain is in deep shit.

7:44 PM It’s over, Obama has 220 electoral votes with California polls still open. California has 55 electoral votes and will certainly go to Obama. Now the drama is on prop’s 4 & 8.

10:28 PM Well Obama won big time and that’s good. Also prop 4 hear in California is going down to defeat which is good. Of course this is the third time the stupid and dangerous parental notification law has been on the ballot and the theocrats will be back. But right now all is ashes and rust because hate is wining in the form of prop 8. It looks like we may enshrine discrimination in the California constitution. To all those who voted for prop 8, FUCK OFF AND DIE!

I am an anti-christ, I am an anarchist

Random Gender Thoughts

Time for another trip through the swamp I call a mind. If I could have the body I want through say genetic engineering I would be a perfect hermaphrodite. Able to be both a father and a mother, since genetic science isn’t there yet I’ll settle for being a non-op trans-woman taking enough hormones to feminize the U.S. Marine Corp. I still want to be able to pass as male because I want to totally fuck with people’s perception of my gender. Hell I want to totally fuck with Gender. This is a very gendered society, to change that would be a greater revolution than any other. I want gender anarchy, be the gender of your choice.

Random Thoughts on a Sunday Evening

I feel so very honored that Kate Borsnstein re-Twitted my post ‘A Meditation on Death’. I so very admire and have been influenced by her writing so her to think it was worth brining to other peoples attention was very flattering. I haven’t felt this way since Michael Moorcock and Charles Platt published some of my short works in New Worlds about thirty years ago.

Interesting that the Republicans are preaching the virtues of split party rule . Funny they didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with one party rule when they were the one party.

Primeval is one of my favorite shows on TV this season. I would have watched seven if it were so so because I’m a sucker for prehistoric life forms. But Primeval is well-written wit good characterization and sharp plotting that keeps you guessing. The only real problem is that it ran on BBC America, which not everyone gets. It will be coming out on DVD soon, Primeval: The Complete Series 1 and 2 get it if you can. If you like intelligent well done Science Fiction you won’t be sorry.

A worthy cause, One Velociraptor Per Child . With that I go to bed.

A Meditation On Death

Inspired by my friend Alexander Yoo, everything dies. You, me and everyone we know will die. Our species will die eventually, as have 99% of all species that have ever lived have done. When we humans are gone the gods and goddesses we have created will go with us. When the sun expands into a red giant in a few billion years the Earth will die. The sun will follow collapsing into a white dwarf and then slowly cooling to a black dwarf. As our Universe relentlessly expands our galaxy will finally be alone an island unto it’s self, as will all other galaxies. Eventually our galaxy will run out of the dust and gas to make new stars and one by one the remaining stars will die leaving black dwarfs, neutron stars or black holes. But even black holes will evaporate eventually leaving nothing behind. And after uncounted billions of years protons will decay and disintegrate leaving nothing but the void. The abyss will have triumphed at last. There is no true immortality so live the life you have to the fullest

Happy Dia De Los Muertos

Yes it is the Day Of The Dead so how appropriate that we have a new Harry Potter trailer, as this is the movie where Dumbledore dies and Harry visits memories of the dead

The Friday Random Ten Right On Schedule

Ten songs from iTunes running on my laptop ‘cause I’m too broke to get an iPod.

Take It Easy by The Eagles
Didn’t I Get This Last Year? By Bob Rivers
Holier Than Thou by Metallica
Eistgh Liomsa Sealad/Listen To Me/Saor Reprise by Afro Celt Sound System
Under Pressure (Live) by Queen
No Quarter by Led Zeppelin
Out of Control by The Eagles
Cradle Of Love by Billy Idol
Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day
Louie Louie by Motörhead

And a couple of bonus videos just because I like them.





‘Lemmy is God!’

Dancing With The Green Fairy

I have been dancing with the Green Fairy a lot lately. She is a very pleasant companion and not at all the evil seductress portrayed in Hideous Absinthe: A History of the Devil in a Bottle (Tauris Parke Paperbacks) and other books. It’s not at all suppressing that I should find such a storied drink fascinating. It was, after all, the favored drink of Oscar Wild , Rimbaud and Verlaine . What writer would not want to be in such illustrious company?

Below are some books about the Green Fairy

Old Fat Naked Women For Peace

Shamelessly ripped of from Feministe . I love the video and the idea behind it.



This is the sort of non-violent direct action we need more of. I wonder how a naked trans-women for peace would work out?

Just Another Random Wednesday

Sometimes I do feel very much a phony, I do little in the way of gender presentation to present myself as anything but male to the world. I still feel gender fluid/queer with a strong tendency toward being female but I am too cowardly to actually do anything about it. Well cowardly and afraid I’ll wreck what’s left of my marriage. But I know of other people who have gone for it despite obstacles greater then mine. So I wonder if I’m really a gender queer trans-woman or just going through some sort of weird mid-life crises. These are the sort of thoughts that creep into my mind when I’m lying alone in my bed at night.

Remembering Our History Yet Again

I have blogged about the Compton’s Cafeteria Riot before. Well now there is a film, Screaming Queens: The Riot at Compton’s Cafeteria . Watch this clip of an interview with a smart tough woman;



She’s wonderful, notice that she makes a very strong argument for why gender identity and presentation so desperately need to be included in any federal ENDA or hate crime laws.

Many of the participants in the were members of Vanguard, a organization of gay hustlers, street queens, ‘hair fairies’, trans women and runaway youth that formed in May of 1966. They were politically active holding demonstrations protesting the discrimination they faced. They also held dances and published a beautifully illustrated news zine.



They were one of the first queer youth groups and the first to welcome trans folk. The group survived until the 1970’s before fading away. I honor them for their pioneering work.

There Will Be Blood Part 2

Well that didn’t take long, the first assassination plot against Obama was just thwarted. It’s only going to get worse, the Republican campaign has let the genie out of the bottle and it won’t be put back without a fight.

Intersex Awareness Day

Today, October 25th is Intersex Awareness Day. I know a bit late in the day to be blogging about this but this is important. Intersex refers to those people who at birth do not fit into the conventional ‘male’ or ‘female’ categories physically and/or genetically. The standard medical reaction has been to surgically ‘correct’ this at birth. Now the people who are intersexed are fighting back. Please help support them.

Not One Of Those Days But One Of Those Weeks

Stolen Borrowed from Brown Feminine Power because this has so been one of those weeks.

Random Friday Random Ten

Angry Again by Megadeth
An Gabhar Bán by Clannad
Similar Features by Melissa Etheridge
Always Crashing In The Same Car by David Bowie
Evening Over Rooftops by Edgar Broughton Band
The Wild Boys (Wilder Than Wild Boys) Extended Mix by Duran Duran
Gut Feeling by Devo
I’m Waiting For The Man by The Velvet Underground
Is It True by The Eagles
The Reflex by Duran Duran

Last of the Election

My last (I promise) election related post. Remember the old Tammany Hall motto, Vote early, Vote often.

In California Vote NO on 8

Do not give in to the voices of hate, equal protection under the law. Please vote no on 8 .

In California Vote NO on 4

For the third time theocrats are trying to pass a parental notification law here in California. This is a very bad idea; most teens do talk to their parents if they need an abortion. The ones who don’t usually have a very good reason ranging from a relative raped them to the possibility of being the victim of a ‘honor’ killing. Please vote no on Prop 4

Is Obama a Marxist?

Short answer, not even close, for a longer answer let’s look at Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto. I actually have a copy and have read it more then once unlike the people who are making the charges and obviously have never read it at all. Marx near then end of the manifesto lays out a ten point program so let’s look at it and see how Obama measures up shall we?

1. Abolition of property in land and application of all rents of land to public purposes.

After the disaster that was the Soviet Union no one is proposing something even vaguely close to this so Obama strikes out here

2. A heavy progressive or graduated income tax.

Well since neither candidate has proposed a flat tax but both have proposed tax cuts so this one is a wash.

3. Abolition of all rights of inheritance.

Ah nope Obama misses this one to.

4. Confiscation of the property of all emigrants and rebels.

Not really relevant here and another one that Obama does not propose

5. Centralization of credit in the hands of the State by means of a national bank with State capital and an exclusive monopoly.

Gasp! Bush and Paulson are Communists! Well it Makes more sense than singling out Obama on this one as McCain voted for the bailout to.

6. Centralization of the means of communication and transport in the hands of the State.

There is centralization all right but hardly in the hands of the State. Again Obama misses out on being a good Marxist.

7. Extension of factories and instruments of production owned by the State, the brining into cultivation of waste-lands, and the improvement of the soil generally in accordance with a common plan.

Say what? Again no one is going for this sort of thing, most certainly not Obama.

8. Equal liability of all to labour. Establishment of industrial armies, especially for agriculture.

Another non-starter and another miss for Obama.

9. Combination of agriculture with manufacturing industries; gradual abolition of the distinction between town and country, by a more equable distribution of the population over the country.

So Archer Daniel Midlands are Communists what with factory farms and all? But again not Obama.

10. Free education for all children in public schools. Abolition of children’s factory labour in its present form. Combination of education with industrial production.

Since Bush pushed No Child Left Behind to supposedly improve public schools I guess he again is the true Communist here. To be fair since neither Obama or McCain are calling for the abolition of public education they can both be called out as communist here.

Really given some of his domestic proposals it would make as much sense to call the old cold warrior Nixon a Communist as Obama.

I so want his election to be over.

Random Thoughts on Religion

I am fascinated by the history of religions. The way they shape and are shaped by the societies they evolve and grow in. The way religions influence each other. The way they grow and splinter, even the most tightly hierarchical ones. The way a sufficiently imaginative and charismatic person can create one out of thin air. The ways they are reshaped to suite the needs of the power elite of the countries they grow in. The ways so many of the founders of religions are perfect examples of Nietzsche’s Will to Power.

Random Associations

Hm, lets do some random associations and see what we can find in the dark pit that is my mind.

I find pain (mine) erotic, not all the time but with an effort I can channel one intense sensation to another entirely. Which brings me to The Rocky Horror Show and the Time Warp, ‘With a bit of a mind flip’ which leads to ‘It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me’. Yes much of my life now is a retreat, or is that a advance, into fantasy. Yes the fantasy of me as the perfect embodiment of Androgyny, a divine mix of male and female. Both and neither and something more, a being who can present any where in the gender spectrum. I also have a fantasy of a world were we who do not fit into societies little gender boxes could live wild and free.

I embrace the word/concept of queer. I DO NOT WANT TO FIT IN , not to this societies gender roles, sexual roles or any other role, yet to most I would seem ever so conventional. It’s a frustration that makes me want to rip my skin off or plunge into the fire to arise as a Gender Queer Phoenix.

Enough for now, there are many more dark corridors and locked rooms to explore. I will do this again.

Mumia on ‘Change’

One of the sharpest commentators today works out of death row, Mumia Abu-
Jamal. Here are two of his commentaries on the current election. Especially relevant is his comments on change, it will NOT come at the ballot box. Remember the end of slavery, woman’s suffrage, the eight hour day and civil rights were all won in the streets not the ballot box.

Another Friday Random Ten

Late Bar by Duran Duran
Comin’ Back To Me by Jefferson Airplane
Siuil A Run by Clannad
Prophecy by Queensrÿche
Femme Fatale (Alternate Mix) by Duran Duran
Everything’s Alright by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Cash on Delivery by Spinal Tap
Ordinary World by Duran Duran
Little Martha by The Allman Brothers Band
Sympathy For The Devil by Ozzy Osbourne

There Will Be Blood

Unless you have deliberately cut yourself off from all media you will have noticed the presidential campaign has take a very ugly turn. Victims of both their claim that we ‘won’ in Iraq and the tanking economy McCain and Palin have nothing left but race baiting and anti-communism. It just might still work for them given the underling racism I this country. Then again given Obama’s primary performance maybe the Bradley Effect is fading away at last.

So what happens if Obama does win? A major shit storm aimed at wrecking Obama’s administration. You think the Republicans were obstructionist during Clinton’s first two years just wait, they will filibuster every bill Obama proposes. You think the Republican noise machine has stooped as low as they can watch as even more vile, slanderous and hateful rumors are spread far and wide. Outside of Washington things will get just as ugly and I fear a lot more violent. I still remember the domestic terror campaign waged against the civil rights movement and the hysteria raised by McCain and Palin is in some ways worse. The racists, the religious zealots and the self proclaimed patriots will feel empowered to save the country, save the family or save the excuse de jour by any means necessary. Any success Obama has will just make them more rabid, at worse it could degenerate into a civil war a la Lebanon in the 80’s. I hope it won’t get that bad but it could.

More Wearying Randomness

As I said I’m weary to the core of me. The winds of limbo are blowing through my soul and I fear there is nothing left of me.

A Wearying Randomness

I am weary to my core, weary among other things of this miserable campaign. Weary of the vile campaign that McCain and Palin are running. They are playing the only cards left to them by the failure of free market ideology, fear and hatred. Fear and hatred of blacks, Muslims, queers and just about anybody who isn’t a straight white Christian. This is the most basic and crude of politics and it’s stirring up forces that can’t be easily put down. I fear there will be blood; the next four years will be dark and evil times. This weary campaign of lies has gone on long enough, let there be an end to it.

The Devil Winds

The Santa Anna’s are blowing here in southern California and the brush fires are burning. I grew up here. The possibility that everything I have could be gone in a instant has always been with me. Much of the culture of Los Angeles has been shaped by the impermanence of the landscape.

Friday Random Ten Again

Is There Something I Should Know (Monster Mix) by Duran Duran
Nightrain by Guns N’ Roses
Winner Takes It All by Sammy Hagar
Do It by The Pink Fairies
The Chronicle Of The Black Sword by Hawkwind
Desperado by Alice Cooper
Of Wolf And Man by Metallica
Meet The Creeper by Rob Zombie
I Just Wanna by Kiss
All My Life by Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville

Special Bonus video relating to the next post!

Holy Leif Erickson, Iceland is Bankrupt!

Yep an entire country is on the verge of bankruptcy. Iceland is virtually bankrupt, its stock market closed, banks nationalized and is currency worthless. Admittedly Iceland is a small country but that doesn’t mean that it can’t happen elsewhere, maybe even here.

WORKERS OF THE WORFLD UNITE, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS!

Paris Hilton Has My Vote

No, really her campaign ads are better done and her policies make more sense then the other two. Her solution on the economy is the only one that actual would help the people who are losing their homes. That and it turns out that she has a wicked sense of humor, who knew.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Mini is the new Fiat

Everyone knows that FIAT really stood for Fix It Again Tony. They were fun but very fragile. Now my Mini Cooper has lunched it's engine and it will cost $5980 for a good rebuilt engine with a 1 year warranty. problem is I'm about $5000 short, damn! Double damn because now I've done research and found out that Mini Cooper's have a number of persistent mechanical problems. A bit late I fear.

Depressing and soon Random

As I’ve said before Global Guerrillas is one of my favorite blogs. His latest post is an examination of why the current efforts to bail out the collapsing financial system are going to fail. Not only is the financial system large, fast and complex but it is interconnected in ways that are not understood even by those who have helped build it. With derivatives having derivatives the system is completely opaque and deliberately so. The current system ahs been described as a ponzi scheme but it’s not, its multiple interlocking ponzi schemes. The perpetrator of one ponzi scheme can be the victim of one or more other ponzi schemes. Thus the uncertainty among financial institutions, even if they sold off all their now toxic paper they may have bought some soon to be equally toxic paper from some one else. No one knows what is or is not potentially toxic at this point and won’t know until the security goes bad.

Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride

Still too Optimistic

At last a NATO commander admits that the War in Afghanistan can’t be won. Of course he thinks that they can reduce the level of insurgency down to where the Afghan army can handle it. Fat chance of that since the Afghan army is for the most part composed of the militias that the Taliban had beaten in the first Afghan civil war. Still it’s a step in the right direction. Now if only Obama and McCain are listening.

Friday Random Ten

Rooftop Action by Los Lobos
There She Goes Again by The Velvet Underground
Planet Caravan by Black Sabbath
Departure by The Moody Blues
The Whisper by Queensrÿche
All She Wants Is (45 Mix) by Duran Duran
All The Young Dudes by Ozzy Osbourne
Maybe by Janis Joplin
Delivering The Goods by Judas Priest
My Own Way by Duran Duran

Bonus video selection

Hell Bent For Leather by Judas Priest with leather God Rob Halford



Warlock’s All We Are with leather goddess Doro Pesch



Doro attends a White Wedding




An finally bring the Fire

This is Depressing.

One of my favorite blogs is Global Guerrilas , I don’t always agree with everything John Robb says but he is always interesting and has many valuable and unique insights into current events. In his recent post Systems Shocks he gives us this very disrobing information;

Too Big. Simply, the system's scale is far beyond the ability of nation-states, or a community of nation-states, to manage when it suffers a breakdown. In the case of the current financial collapse, the global shadow banking system (a globally inter-networked collection of unregulated financial products) is approximately $450 trillion, as compared to a US GDP of $15 trillion or a global GDP of ~$60 trillion. Put another way, the financial liabilities of the highly leveraged Deutsche Bank are 80% of Germany's GDP and Barclay's liabilities are 100% of the UK's GDP. As the leverage underlying the shadow banking system unwinds and more banks fail, the scale of the loses experienced will rapidly exceed nation-state budgets.

Think about that for a moment, $450 Trillion in unregulated, don’t know what their worth securities out there. That means the $700 Billion bail out plan is a whopping 0.15% of what would be needed if these things all turn out to be toxic waste. The problem is no one knows what, if anything, these things are worth. The world economy is a liner running at top speed through an ice berg flow

Yet Another Statement of (Un)Belief

I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom. (Matthew 16:28)

Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near. (Revelations 1:3)

And here we are 2,000 years later and still no sign of J.C. If the bible is the inerrant word of god did god change his mind and forget to tell anyone? Just sloppy work I say.

The Prefect Weapon For Assassination

There is a new product coming out of New Jersey, appropriately enough, called The Palm Pistol . It is being marketed as a home self-defense weapon but it looks more lie a close up assassination weapon. It seems it would be perfect for close up work in crowded situations, shoot the target, drop the gun and move away.

It sometimes bothers me my mind works like this.

Hat tip to Warren Ellis

Another Statement of (Un)faith

There is no god
Mohammad is no ones prophet
Get over yourselves

A Statement of (Un)faith

He is dead
It’s been 2000 years
He is not coming back
Get Over It

$700 Billion Is Just A Down Payment

There are at least $1.4 Trillion in toxic sub-prime loans out there. Expect Bush to ask for another $700 Billion shortly after the election. With over 110 banks looking very shaky the FDIC may need a bailout soon. Don’t worry, it gets worse. Starting next year a whole new group of flaky mortgages are going to start blowing up. These little darlings were interest only for four years after which you have to pay principal and interest meaning a big increase in payments. To add insult to injury the interest they have been paying was calculated as if they were paying principal so the excess interest is added to the principal. Unless the price of the house goes up you windup with negative equity and housing prices are going rather steeply down. Here are several trillion dollars worth of these little time bombs out there just waiting to go off. So that $1.4 Trillion in current bad debt is just a warm up.

Signs of The Coming Apocalypse

The Chicago Cubs have the best record in the National League and will certainly make the playoffs. The Dodgers famous for their September slump are playing better ball now than in July. There is the possibility of an all Chicago World Series, Cubs vs. White Sox.

Pronouns and Gender

I noticed an interesting thing about myself this morning on the way to work. When chiding myself for a mistake I use male pronouns. To encourage myself I use female pronouns. That probably means something significant I just not sure what. I’l have to discuss this with Dr. Cooper tomorrow. Of course she will expect me to do the hard woek of rooting around inside my mind to figure it out.

To be continued…….

Bisexuality Awareness Day

Yes September 23rd is Bisexuality Awareness Day . I knew I was bisexual from an early age though I was in my early twenties before I admitted it to myself. When I came across the term pansexual in a cartoon by Vaughn Bode I knew I had found the term that described me best.

If you aren’t familiar with the work of Vaughn Bode start here, Schizophrenia (The Bode Library)

Financial Nightmare #1

Bush gets exactly what he wants for the bailout package. $700 Billion handed over to a totally unaccountable Treasury department. It goes to buy nearly worthless derivative securities at near face value. Just after the election the Treasury Department asks for another $700 Billion, as more securities are now no longer worth the paper they are printed on. The printing press reve up and the dollar continues to drop in value. OPEC gets nervous and switches to Euros. The dollar becomes worthless and the middle and working classes are whipped out by hyperinflation.

SQUEEEE!!

I was quoted by Kate Bornstein on her blog! This is a very big deal for me as I much admire Ms. Bornstein’s writing. I consider her My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirelyessential reading for everyone trans-gendered or not.

What is a Man?

Does he have a penis?
What about a eunuch, is he a man?
Has he fathered children?
What about men who are sterile?
What about men who chose not to have children?
Are they men?
Who decides what a man is?
Why do they get to decide?

A gender exercise from Kate Barstein’s My Gender Workbook. Very highly recommended

A Random Friday Random Ten

Let’s Dance by David Bowie
Bye Bye Baby by Big Brother & The Holding Company
New Moon Monday (Dance Mix) by Duran Duran
Die With Your Boots On by Iron Maiden
Working In The Coal Mine by Devo
Jesus Is Just Alright by The Byrds
The Killing Word by Queensrÿche
Saint And Sinner by Kiss
All The Young Dudes by David Bowie
Delaware Slide by George Thorogood & The Destroyers

Random Because I Am

Intestinal upset and headache means no concentration and random thoughts.

Irony overload, a Rothschild calling Obama elitist. She fucking jets between estates in London and New York. I think Krokus said it best, Out of the palace and into the ditch, Eat the Rich.





My favorite gay/leather singer – ROB HALFORD the god who fronts Judas Priest one of the greatest Heavy Metal bands ever.



Because love does bite, it’s bitten me more than once. It’s a bitch to be polyamorus when your partners not.

W00T!!

My six hundredth page view! I actually have readers.

Now register if you haven’t and then vote! If you live in California vote NO on propositions 4 and 8

Why I’ll vote for Obama

It’s no secret that I’m not thrilled with Obama, he is far too friendly with theocrats and only slightly less of a hawk than McCain. There are three reasons to vote form him beyond the obvious one of judicial appointments.

The first is his stance on queer rights. While by no means perfect, he waffles far too much on marriage equality, he at least considers us human and deserving of equal protection under the law. McCain wants us back in the closet and Palin wants to strip us of every gain we’ve made in the last 40 years.

Secondly Obama actually thinks women are human too and capable of rational thought. He actual is willing to let women make their own reproductive choices. O.K. that last was more then a little snarky. McCain just doesn’t seem to care which leaves Palin and her theocratic friends to set policy. They don’t just want to end a women’s right to chose but end access to any contraception whatsoever.

Finally and most importantly Obama understands and respects science. He is actually reaching out for scientific advice. McCain is technologically and scientifically illiterate. Palin is a creationist retard who actually might be worse than Bush as hard as that may be.

So register and vote! May be this will help motivate you;

Save Bitch

The magazine that is. Bitch magazine is a feminist response to popular culture and the best read I know of. Unfortunately like many independent magazines they are struggling financially. Please help if you can with a subscription or donation . Bitch needs another $39,000.00 to put out their next issue which will be a guaranteed great read.

It’s a Bitch

Not having a working Internet connection at home. I get way behind on Twitter and no posts on the blog. It’s my own damn fault, I let my bill with AT&T fall three months behind. Seems they don’t like that so the cut me off. I’ve since paid them up but it’s taken from last Thursday to (hopefully) 8:00m PM tonight to get my internet connection back up.

You don’t realize how much you depend on the Internet until it’s gone. I casual conversation with Lyne a question will come up that neither of us know the answer to. Usually we just turn to one of our laptops and look up the answer. It’s frustrating when you start to do that and then realize that no I can’t do that

Another Friday Random Ten

Love That Never Dies by The Byrds
Treat me Well by Heart
Mariachi Suite by Los Lobos
Martha by Jefferson Airplane
Beautiful World by Devo
American Idiot by Green Day
Exciter by Judas Priest
Words by Missing Persons
Evening Star by Judas Priest
Beyond The Realms Of Death by Judas Priest


Tiered of my music yet? I think I’m getting tiered of it. I need some new music, now I just need the money to get it.

Jesus Died For Somebody’s Sins But Not Mine

That nicely sums up how I feel about Christianity

The song where this came from

Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine
meltin' in a pot of thieves
wild card up my sleeve
thick heart of stone
my sins my own
they belong to me, me

people say "beware!"
but I don't care
the words are just
rules and regulations to me, me

I-I walk in a room, you know I look so proud
I'm movin' in this here atmosphere, well, anything's allowed
and I go to this here party and I just get bored
until I look out the window, see a sweet young thing
humpin' on the parking meter, leanin' on the parking meter
oh, she looks so good, oh, she looks so fine
and I got this crazy feeling and then I'm gonna ah-ah make her mine
ooh I'll put my spell on her

here she comes
walkin' down the street
here she comes
comin' through my door
here she comes
crawlin' up my stair
here she comes
waltzin' through the hall
in a pretty red dress
and oh, she looks so good, oh, she looks so fine
and I got this crazy feeling that I'm gonna ah-ah make her mine

and then I hear this knockin' on my door
hear this knockin' on my door
and I look up into the big tower clock
and say, "oh my God here's midnight!"
and my baby is walkin' through the door
leanin' on my couch she whispers to me and I take the big plunge
and oh, she was so good and oh, she was so fine
and I'm gonna tell the world that I just ah-ah made her mine

and I said darling, tell me your name, she told me her name
she whispered to me, she told me her name
and her name is, and her name is, and her name is, and her name is G-L-O-R-I-A
G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria
G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria

I was at the stadium
There were twenty thousand girls called their names out to me
Marie and Ruth but to tell you the truth
I didn't hear them I didn't see
I let my eyes rise to the big tower clock
and I heard those bells chimin' in my heart
going ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong.
ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong
counting the time, then you came to my room
and you whispered to me and we took the big plunge
and oh. you were so good, oh, you were so fine
and I gotta tell the world that I make her mine make her mine
make her mine make her mine make her mine make her mine

G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria,
G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria

and the tower bells chime, "ding dong" they chime
they're singing, "Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine."

Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A,
Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A, G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria
G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria,
G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria,
G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria G-L-O-R-I-A Gloria .

And a performed by the divine Patti Smith herself

Tuesday Random Ten Because I was Out Of Town On Friday

The Stoke by Billy Squier
The End by The Doors
Break It Up by Patti Smith
Sunshine Of Your Love (Live) by Cream
Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath
Damned by AC/DC
Peaceful Easy Feeling by Eagles
High Voltage by AC/DC
The Black Angel’s Death Song by The Velvet Underground
The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire) by Twisted Sister

Seems about right

Your result for The When Will FOX Cancel You? Test...

13 Episodes

Although you weren't a particularly difficult show to produce, the audience just didn't seem to respond to you. They mostly ignored you, so FOX gave you the axe after half a season. But since you lacked any really defining characteristics, chances are you'll be forgotten to the sands of time. Ah well, at least you'll have plenty of other shows to keep you company there.

Take The When Will FOX Cancel You? Test at HelloQuizzy

We Are So Screwed

The latest Gallup Poll shows McCain leading Obama 50% to 46%. If McCain wins we are totally screwed. With McCain picking the nominee for the next Supreme Court vacancy you can kiss choice AND contraception good-bye. LGBTQ rights won’t just stall they will be rolled back in most of the country. The economy will fall apart because McCain and Palin have not a clue what to do. Of course all that may not matter because McCain’s chief foreign policy advisor is a paid lobbyists for the Georgian government and the wrinkled old white guy is probably stupid enough to get us in a shooting war with Russia.

If people are stupid enough to vote a haplessly corrupt power hungry old fart and his vindictive theocrat side kick into office they’ll get what the deserve. It’s just that the rest of us will have to suffer along with them. In the name of since how can people fall for this swill.

Every Silver Lining Has A Cloud

Despite occasional bursts of almost optimism I’m mostly fairly pessimistic. When I’m down I’m a flat out nihilist. So to indulge my dark side and make myself feel better lets spread some doom and gloom.

President McCain, scary isn’t it? Obama doesn’t have that big a lead and Palin is going to bring out the Republican base in droves. Given the geographic distribution of the Republican base and the concentration of the Democratic base in the northeast and the Pacific coast and the electoral collage system McCain could lose the popular vote and still easily win the electoral vote. A couple of Supreme Court appointments and any one who isn’t a straight white Christian male is totally screwed. Given the uneasy situation in the Ukraine we could very well have McCain with his hair trigger temper trying to face down the Russians. Any one want to play total nuclear war?

Ah well really Natasha, why so serious?

Lets put a smile on that face.

Open Your Eyes

Video games train the kids for war. Army chic in high-fashion
Stores. Law and order's done their job. Prisons filled while
The rich still rob. Assassination politics. Violence rules
Within' our nation's midst. Well ignorance is their power tool.
You'll only know what they want you to know. The television
Cannot lie. Controlling media with smokescreen eyes. Nuclear
Politicians picture show. The acting's lousy but the blind don't
Know. They scare us all with threats of war. So we forget
Just how bad things are. You taste the fear when you're all
Alone. They gonna git'cha when you're on your own. The silence
Of conspiracy. Slaughtered on the altar of apathy. You gotta
Wake up from your sleep. 'Cause meek inherits earth...six feet
Deep.
Open your eyes see the lies right in front of ya.
Open your eyes.....

These lyrics are 26 years old now but they so perfectly describe the situation right now. This is why Rock and Roll is my religion and my law even tough I’m still an atheist.



I’m going to be posting about lies and calling out the truth they try to hide for the rest of the month.

It’s a Beautiful World For You

But not me. By transitioning I have embarked on a course that will give me a one in twelve chance of being murdered compared to the 1 in 18,000 chance I have now. It also gives me a better chance of being beaten, raped, and denied employment or housing. I must be crazy to deliberately set myself for this sort of hatred or at least that’s what the anti-trans theocrats would say. They say I just need therapy to ‘cure’ me of my confusion. Well guess what creeps, I’m seeing a therapist and after watching me struggle with this for the last few years she thinks this is the right course for me. This is not something I just want to do this is something I have to do or risk sinking back into the self destructive depression I was in before.

So I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t transition. I have nothing left to lose, except of course my marriage and my family. Oh fuck it lets just listen to Devo’s ‘Beautiful World’

It’s Random Because I say Its Random

Great new word, well to me anyway, Kyriarchy . It was coined by Elisabeth Schussler Fiorenza and it describes a complex pyramid of ruling and oppression, you know the real world.

Democrats who underestimate Sarah Palin are idiots; she came up fast in the good old boys party. That took intelligence, drive and great campaign skills. If liberals let their unexamined sexism get the better of them they will lose and deservedly so. Unfortunately it’s the rest of us who get stuck with two theocratic thugs running the country.

The police state is in full swing in Minneapolis ahead of and during the RNC. We let the bastard’s get away with gutting the bill of rights and now we are reaping the consequences.

SEX!!!

That should get someone’s attention. To be more accurate this is about sexual orientation, mine specifically. I identify as pansexual because I am attracted to more then just men and women, get your mind out of the gutter I’m still talking human here.

There are more physical sexes then the usual two, any where from five up to fifteen depending on where you draw the line. That’s just physical sexes when you add gender into the mix it gets really complicated fast. What, you thought physical sex and gender were one and the same? Well not if you’re reading this blog you didn’t. Any way I have found myself sexual attracted to people who fall on many different points on the sex/gender continuum.

I first realized I was something other than straight when I fell in lust with David Bowie the first time I saw him in concert on the Ziggy Stardust tour. Then I saw Sulka in a porn performance and begin to understand just how deep the rabbit hole is. This might be the time to ask a question that is almost never asked, when did you realize you were heterosexual? Or maybe it’s variant, when did you decide to be heterosexual? While the first question doesn’t get asked much it at least makes sense. The second one does not, nor does it make sense when asked of those of us with other then straight sexual orientation. No one ‘decides’ their sexual preferences, they just are. Why they are is one of those interesting scientific questions that seem to have very complex answers.

Anyway I hope that gives those who are interested some insight to what pansexual means and what my sexual orientation is.

I Haven’t Been Paying Attention

I hadn’t realized that California had singed a treaty with The Empire. I actually feel safer now that we are helping rebuild the Death Star and have Star Destroyers based out of San Francisco.



Hat Tip to Mick Farren

Another Friday Random Ten

Shock To The System by Billy Idol – Blond and sullen, a look I like
Cities On Flame With Rock and Roll by Blue Oyster Cult – Intellectual Metal
Night Fall by Halford – Leather daddy Metal
War Machine by Kiss – Theatrical and better than they are given credit for
Jam Stew by Deep Purple – Did I mention I’m a sucker for good keyboards?
I Don’t Want Your Loved by Duran Duran – Style and substance
Going Mobile by The Who – The Who at their best
Dragula by Rob Zombie – Chaos in action
Beautiful World by Devo – Deeply cynical which is why I love it
Heaven Help by Lenny Kravitz – Drool! Lenny is so HOT!

AC/DC

Which I pretty much am at a minimum, it’s also my favorite band and one of my favorite songs. So, because I’m lazy, here is a video of the song as done by Joan Jett and the latest AC/DC song.





Joan is so hot!

More on my, and others, sexual orientation soon(ish)

(The ‘ish’ is all important in Hollywood)

Buffy Antichrist

Yes Buffy has helped lead 950,000 women away from Christian churches in Britain since 1989 according to Dr Kristin Aune . Dr. Aune contends that the example of Buffy as a strong independent woman into witchcraft (yes I know she was the slayer and Willow was the witch, work with me) as they become dissatisfied with the churches hierarchy and traditional values. These seem to be reasonable things to reject in favor of egalitarian values and women power.

All I can say is go Buffy go!

Two Men Have Had a Child!

At least according to Terry Moran of ABC's Nightline. Yep Barack Obama is the child of two men, see for yourself.



hat tip to Kate Bornstien

W00T!!!

First new AC/DC song in TEN years! Rock and Roll Train which will be the new ‘Black Ice’

Justice for Buyisiwe

Three years ago in South Africa Buyisiwe was gang raped by nine men. They have still not been brought to trial. One in Nine is asking people to sign a petition to pressure the government to finaly give Buyisiwe some measure of justice. Pleases go and sign this petition now and then ask all your friends to do the same.

Via brownfemipower

A Step Into The Unknown

Well I have an firm appointment with Dr. Maddie Deutsch for next month. Si the chance of going on hormones is very high, so is the chance of ending what’s left of my marriage. I am frightened and elated at the same time. My but life can be stressful.

Worthy Projects

Want to help fight AIDS, help conquer Cancer, help feed the world with more nutritious rice and more? Well you can just by donating your computers spare CPU cycles. Just scroll down and click on the World Community Grid widget on the right, Then you to can do some real god in the world without really having to do much.

Transition

Well I just sent an email off to a doctor inquiring about her services for transgender patients. I am optimistic on two points, she is transgender herself and she was recommended by Alexander Yoo therapist extraordinaire. Now I just have to talk to Lyne about this and hope she understands and that this doesn’t bring what’s left of my marriage down.

Whish me luck, I think I need it.

Randomness, You Call This Randomness?

Yes because I have been busy baking and this is all I have time for.

I got an unwelcome handout stuck at the bottom of my stairs, a slick card pimping Proposition 8 that vile bit of anti-marriage homophobia. The lying scum behind it claim it ‘protects marriage’ when what it really does is alter the California constitution to enshrine discrimination. I just hope the Equality For All people get their own flyers out soon.

I am starting to look for doctors to get hormones from. I need to start transition, I am tearing myself apart trying to remain where I am.

Turbo Coke is a wonderfully drink. You make it with a shot of espresso, a jigger of Vanilla syrup and a bottle of Coca Cola preferably the good stuff from Mexico all poured over ice. A sovereign remedy for what ails you.

The Friday Random Ten +1

Charles Atlas Song by Tim Curry
Big Mess by Devo
3rd Eye Landslide by Monster Magnet
Potters Field by Anthrax
I’m A Man by The Stooges
Show No Mercy by Slayer
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive
Let’s Dance b David Bowie
Rince Briotánach by Clannad
White, Clean and Neat by Robert Plant
The Krush Brothers by Duran Duran

Special bonus feature!

The Dictators do Search and Destroy,




The Dead Boys do Search and Destroy



Soundgarden does Search and Destroy



An finally the one and only Stooges do Search and Destroy



You think I might like this song?