Hm, lets do some random associations and see what we can find in the dark pit that is my mind.
I find pain (mine) erotic, not all the time but with an effort I can channel one intense sensation to another entirely. Which brings me to The Rocky Horror Show and the Time Warp, ‘With a bit of a mind flip’ which leads to ‘It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me’. Yes much of my life now is a retreat, or is that a advance, into fantasy. Yes the fantasy of me as the perfect embodiment of Androgyny, a divine mix of male and female. Both and neither and something more, a being who can present any where in the gender spectrum. I also have a fantasy of a world were we who do not fit into societies little gender boxes could live wild and free.
I embrace the word/concept of queer. I DO NOT WANT TO FIT IN , not to this societies gender roles, sexual roles or any other role, yet to most I would seem ever so conventional. It’s a frustration that makes me want to rip my skin off or plunge into the fire to arise as a Gender Queer Phoenix.
Enough for now, there are many more dark corridors and locked rooms to explore. I will do this again.