Monday, December 26, 2011
Roberta Cowell, WW II Spitfire Pilot, race car driver and the first known British male-to-female transsexual to undergo sex reassignment surgery. This was all the way back on 15 May, 1951 just short of her 30th birthday. This occurred two years before Christine Jorgensen's surgery in Denmark. Roberta, now 90 is still with us and I hope happy and well. She wrote her autobiagraphy,Roberta Cowell's Story, now sadly out of print but still available used.
The incredible courage Roberta Cowell displayed transitioning publicly when she did is to be admired and saluted.
Friday, December 23, 2011
I'm one life, the one I'm coming to prefer, I'm Natasha the person you know from this blog and on twitter. In the other I'm Barry. A married, well not man but person, with a job and all that.
Increasingly my worlds are blending into each other so starting here I'm going to be as open as I can about this. For various reasons my legal name will most probably never change even though I identify as Natasha. Of course I don't look like a Natasha do I?
Not really that fem am I? Yet I feel very fem most time.
Ah well enough self confession tonight, sleep well all of you.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Not an inspiring record is it? I think you can see why I've come to really hate my birthday and the month of November in general.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
So for the next three or four months at least no therapy for Natasha. I wonder if I can survive or will fall back into deep depression?
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Yes there are ever more uprisings against the status quo, but are they too little too late? The austerity brigade still rule the roost in the U.S. and Europe and now there are cracks showing in China's economy.We are still pumping carbon into our atmosphere at accelerating rates and permanently altering our weather.
Not that I'm a prophet of doom, the world isn't ending any time soon but things are going to get a lot more interesting not to mention surreal.
Oh and Halloween is coming
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
The completely secular wording of the U.S. Constitution putting a lie to the 'this is a christian nation' nonsense spouted by the right.
How much I love what Estrogen has done and is doing to me.
How much I love my chosen queer family.
How frustrating my ADHA has become.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Real congratulations on having one of the most offensive t-shirt designs ever. Your 'If you have sex with a prostitute without her consent is it rape or shoplifting' shirt manages to trivialize rape and sexual violence and dehumanize sex workers all in one offensive package. Way to go fuckwads.
I know I should be polite to get my point across but that is hard to do when I'm this angry. That shirt showes you as the hateful misogynist cowards that you are. I don't think you'll have the good graces to actually stop selling that piece of crap shirt and even fake apologize but one can always hope.
I would like to encourage what few readers I have to send their own letter of comment to these jerkwads at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Sea King by Hawkwind
Departure by The Moody Blues
Catch My Fall by Billy Idol
Coming Back To Me by Jefferson Airplane
A View To A Kill by Duran Duran
The Hell Of It by Paul Williams
Back In Business by AC/DC
TVC 15 by David Bowie
I’m Coming Home by The Deviants
Angel by Iggy Pop
N.S.U. by Cream
The Apparition by Iron Maiden
Drowning Man by Duran Duran
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
These are illnesses that do not have any obvious external symptoms. Things like depression, anxiety and ADHD. These illnesses are difficult to diagnose and difficult to treat. There is also a tendency by those not suffering from them to dismiss them as somehow not ‘real illnesses’. They urge people to ‘man up’ or ‘get over it’, this is spectacularly not helpful. These are real and debilitating illnesses as I have learned the hard way.
This brings me to another thought, just how much I hate the ‘your too sensitive, why so angry?’ line. This is usually uttered by some privileged twit when called on some hateful remark or joke he just made. The privileged one is trying to de-legitimize the anger felt by the person calling him on his oh so casual, meant no offence remake. This is not just a problem of the right, I see plenty of casual trans-misogyny from progressives as well. So the next time someone calls you on some remark or joke stop and actually listen to what they have to say, you may learn something.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
I’m back for the moment and thought I should reintroduce myself. I’m a proud, semi out, gender queer trans woman. I’m on a regime of Spironolactone to reduce my testosterone levels and Estrogen patches to help feminize me. I’ll never have passing privilege as at 60 I’m really too old for any major changes to my body. But I do love the mental and emotional changes that Estrogen has brought.
So I’ll be blogging about whatever cross3s my mind which will include more about me.
Cheery Bye for now.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
All She Wants Is by Duran Duran
Whip It by Devo
Chains by Iggy Pop
Young Girl Blues by Donovan
No Sense of Crime by Iggy Pop & James Williamson
Sweating Bullets by Megadeth
The Krush Brothers by Duran Duran
Lola by The Kinks
Cries In The Night by W.A.S.P.
Voices In The Sky by The Moody Blues
Eye On You by Billy Squier
Morning Will Come by Spirit
Willie And The Hand Jive by George Thorogood & Destroyers
A short look inside my mind
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
My name is Prerna Lal. You may know me as one of the founders of DreamActivist or from the Immigrant Rights blog at Change.org where I have worked for the past two years to stop the deportations of several members of our community. I serve a board member for Immigration Equality and I was the recipient of a Changemaker Award at the South Asian Americans Leading Together (SAALT) summit this year. I am writing to you because I am currently sitting for my first-year law school exams at The George Washington University, and already, I'm facing the trial of my life. The United States government has decided to prosecute and deport me away from my family, friends and community. They sent me a notice to appear for removal proceedings last week.
I just paid $800 to the State of California in business taxes. And I'm expected to appear in an Immigration Court in San Francisco for this trial. That is some heavy taxation without representation. To make matters more complicated, my entire family is American and they have done nothing to deserve this treatment.
My grandparents were U.S. citizens. My legal resident parents brought me here when I was a minor. I grew up in this country. This is my home.
It make no sense for the government to spend thousands of dollars and several years in litigation to remove me from my home. In response to this atrocity, my friends have created a petition to top immigration officials to stop this ridiculous prosecution.
Our goal is to reach 5,000 signatures and we need more support. You can read more and sign the petition here:
Your support is invaluable to me. Please sign, facebook, tweet and reblog the petition so that I can keep my family together and continue making worthwhile contributions to this country
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Alice In Chains - Angry Chair
Judas Priest - Judas Rising
Anthrax - Belly Of The Beast
Black Sabbath - War Pigs
The Clash – White Riot
The Clash - Revolution Rock
Danzig – Godless
Green Day - American Idiot
Guns 'N' Roses - Out To Get Me
Iggy Pop – Kill City
Megadeth – Symphony Of Destruction
Nine Inch Nails – With Teeth
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Perversion – Rob Zombie
Different World – Iron Maiden
Crossfire – Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble
Love Voodoo – Duran Duran
Gloriana – Michael Moorcock & The Deep Fix
Johanna – The Stooges
Summertime – Big Brother & The Holding Company
The Otherside – Afro Celt
Before They Make Me Run – The Rolling Stones
Commotion – Creedence Clearwater Revival
When The Whip Comes Down – The Rolling Stones
Green Instrument – Afro Celt
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
I am a coward on many levels, not so much physical as emotional. That is why I am out to only select people. Not that I would ever deny who and what I am if asked but I have barely transitioned so it doesn’t come up. Most of the reason for my oh so slow transition is my fear of confrontation with those close to me. See, a coward.
I have a friend who has reached his limit. Too many people asking too much of him. He has done much for me and I feel useless to him right now. And so I make it about me again, fuck it all I want is to take his pain away and I can’t.
I despair at my fellow humans stupidity. We can all be stupid at times but right now we seem to be having a monumental outbreak of stupid. In the midst of recovering from a worldwide recession these cretins want to implement austerity. Yes that’s just what fragile economies need pulling a few billions out of them and knocking thousand into unemployment. Apparently they do not read history or they would know FDR made the same mistake moving to austerity just when the economy was picking up steam and sending back into recession. Now they want to repeat the error on a global scale. Hang on it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Genesis Breyer P-Orridge gender queer pandrogynous musician, performer, artist and wrecker of civilization. Sylvia Rivera latina activist, Stonewall rioter and founding member of The Gay Liberation Front. Without her there would probably be no TBLG rights in this country. We should honor her by destroying the Human Rights Campaign. Billy Tipton jazz musician and band leader.
Quite simply there are a lot of trans women, trans men and gender queers who have fought the long odds and managed to carve out careers and families in a hostile world. Now we want the right to live our lives openly as who we are, we won’t give up and we’re tougher then you can imagine.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Mass Production – Iggy Pop
Black Magic – Slayer
Sirius – Clannad
Break It Up – Patti Smith
Come Go With Me – The Beach Boys.
Sexy Boy – Kinky Boyz
Broken Arrow – Buffalo Springfield
Nobody Gives – The Kinks
Iron Head – Rob Zombie
Crazy Love – The Allman Brothers Band
The Jean Genie – David Bowie
Safe European Home – The Clash
Trans people face this fate all the time. If we are lucky our deaths are reported as ‘man living as woman’, if not we are ‘gay men found in woman’s clothing’ or ‘masculinly dressed women.’ We are buried under the wrong name with the wrong gender pronoun. Our lived existence is erased, who we really were is gone and we become un-person’s. We are forced to fight for our trans sibling’s identities so they can be remembered as who they were not as some bigoted relatives wanted them to be.
I just became aware of a nasty new turn to this erasing of our chosen identities, a greedy relative trying to re-write the narrative of a life while the person is still alive albeit gravely ill. Catherine Ryan Hyde is trying to appropriate Gender Warrior Leslie Feinberg’s identity. Please read Feinberg’s impassioned post and reblog it. Fight the un-person movement directed at trans people.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
But then I remember those of us who have not merely survived but triumphed. Victoria Kolakowski who made history by becoming the first out tras woman elected to the bench. Lynn Conway groundbreaking computer scientist. Jamie Fenton who helped ot your mind by designing video games. Jeffrey Catherine Jones award wining artist. Vladimir Luxuria Italian actress and politician. Caroline Paige RAF fighter pilot. Parinya Kiatbusaba Mut Thai champion, actress and model. All these very successful trans women and many more are a inspiration to us all. They sow we can not merely survive but triumph. A very bright side indeed.
You might wonder why I even bother to write about this since it so regularly happens to trans women in death. That is the very reason I am writing this, because it must stop. For the most part the only coverage trans women and trans men get in the media is in the advent of our all too frequent murders. The media by ungendering and othering us help perpetuate this cycle of violence. After all it really isn’t murder of the person your killing is an it and some sort of freak. So I would ask that the media treat us with respect in death with the hope that those of us still living might be seen as human and allowed to get on with our lives. A probably vain hope but a girl can dream.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
For every dollar the boss has and didn’t work for, one of us worked for a dollar and didn’t get it.
A liberal is the guy who leaves the room when a fight starts.
The barbarous gold barons do not find the gold, they do not mind the gold, they do not mill the gold, but by some weird alchemy all the gold belongs to them.
You ask me why the I.W.W. is not patriotic to the United States. If you were a bum without a blanket; if you had left your wife and kids when you went west for a job, and had never located them since; if your job had never kept you long enough in a place to qualify you to vote; if you slept in a lousy, sour bunkhouse, and ate food just as rotten as they could give you and get by with it; if deputy sheriffs shot your cooking cans full of holes and spilled your grub on the ground; if your wages were lowered on you when the bosses thought they had you down; if there was one law for Ford, Suhr, and Mooney, and another for Harry Thaw; if every person who represented law and order and the nation beat you up, railroaded you to jail, and the good Christian people cheered and told them to go to it, how in hell do you expect a man to be patriotic? This war is a business man's war and we don't see why we should go out and get shot in order to save the lovely state of affairs that we now enjoy.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
But I found it more and more difficult, with free scope given to my imagination, to invent evidence which would suffice to convince me. Thus disbelief crept over me at a very slow rate, but was at last complete. The rate was so slow that I felt no distress, and have never since doubted even for a single second that my conclusion was correct. I can indeed hardly see how anyone ought to wish Christianity to be true; for if so the plain language of the text seems to show that the men who do not believe, and this would include my Father, Brother and almost all my best friends, will be everlastingly punished.
And this is a damnable doctrine. Although I did not think much about the existence of a personal God until a considerably later period of my life, I will here give the vague conclusions to which I have been driven. The old argument of design in nature, as given by Paley, which formerly seemed to me so conclusive, fails, now that the law of natural selection has been discovered. We can no longer argue that, for instance, the beautiful hinge of a bivalve shell must have been made by an intelligent being, like the hinge of a door by man. There seems to be no more design in the variability of organic beings and in the action of natural selection, than in the course which the wind blows. Everything in nature is the result of fixed laws. – Charles Darwin
Monday, January 3, 2011
Are things getting better for transgendered people or is it kind of a topsy turvy rocky road towards acceptance and equality?
Right now no. We have legal protection in 12 states & that has been true for a long time. Every attempt to expand our protections to new states has failed no thanks to Gay Inc. The only small step forward was the Federal Hate Crimes expansion that did include us and given how often we are murded that is something.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Because an ‘injury to one is a injury to all’ I was happy to see DADT repeal go through and the court fight against Prop 8 continue successfully. What I was furious and angry at was the total failure of the Employment Non Discrimination Act to even get to committee much less out of it. This failure has Democratic and assimilationist cis gay fingerprints all over it. After unprecedented Congressional hearings at which trans women and trans men finally got to speak for them selves nothing happened. The Democratic leadership (looks at fat white boy Barney Frank) didn’t even bother to release proposed language for the bill. The HRC and its clones exerted exactly no pressure on anyone to advance the bill. The only time ENDA was mentioned after that was when trans activist managed to generate enough pressure to get a few ‘real soon now’ noises out of the Democrats and HRC. After the pressure dropped there was only silence.
ENDA is way more important then repealing DAT or DOMA, ENDA is a life or death issue for many of the TBLG community. In 29 states it’s perfectly legal to fire people or deny them any services because of their sexual orientation. In 38 states there is no protection for gender identity or presentation. That means that people are in danger from dying in the streets because they can’t access any services or get a job. This is not theoretical; it happens to trans women with depressing regularity. So the cis gay ‘activists’ and Democratic ‘leaders’ that have done squat to advance ENDA, you have blood on your hands scumbags.
A triple feature for 2011
All thinking men are atheists. — Ernest Hemingway
Lighthouses are more helpful then churches. — Benjamin Franklin
Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile. — Kurt Vonnegut