Friday, January 30, 2009

Shameless Pandering For Other People

I hate to have to beg for money so I know what it feels like to be desperate for funds. So I’ve decided to beg for money for other people, people like Jess . Thanks to our fucked up medical system Jess has to come up with the money zirs self to pay for ze’s top surgery. So if you are lucky enough to have spare cash please go and donate to Jess’s top surgery fund.

Time For The Friday Random Eleven

Somebody To Love by Queen
Bloodstone by Judas Priest
Kimberly by Patti Smith
The Struggle Within by Metallica
Your Ma said You Cried In Your Sleep Last Night by Robert Plant
Ball And Chain by Big Brother & The Holding Company
Thunder Road by Judas Priest
Long Ago, Far Away by Peter Bardens
Smash ’N’ Grab by AC/DC
Steppin’ Out by Cream
Rooster by Alice In Chains

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Support Your Local (Or Not So Local) Artist

Why buy overpriced mass produced jewelry when you can buy hand made jewelry ? Go look at some the fine earrings , bracelets , necklaces and wire wrappings . Not only will you find great designs and great prices but all the money from the pink jewelry goes to support a great cause, Susan S Komen For A Cure for breast cancer. Really what’s not to love? Go spend a little money for a lot of jewelry.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

What Is A Woman?

Is a woman one who can bare a child?
If a person is sterile are they not then a woman even if they have a XX genotype?
If a woman does not want children is she still a woman?
Why are all woman assumed to want children?

This will be a regular blog subject from now on. I want to explore societies perception of gender. I think this will be interesting.

There are many realities to explore and create and I want create a few myself, come along and help.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What Is A Man?

Is there such a thing as a real man?
If there are real men does that mean there are also unreal men?
Would real men play football?
Would unreal men play hopscotch?
I liked playing hopscotch when I was a boy, does this make me a unreal man?

There will be lots more of this sort of thing so stay tuned.

In fact Tune In, Turn On & Drop Out,

There are many realities to explore and create.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Sunday, January 25, 2009

More Thoughts on Language and Gender

I don’t have the words to describe my gender identity; I don’t think there are any current words in the English language. The best I can do is a string of descriptive phrases, things like gender queer, gender fluid and androgynous. None of them are quite right but they do capture the feeling of my gender. I mostly identify as female but there are times when my self-image is very male. But those identifications are more physical the emotional or intellectual because what does male and female mean? Yes there is the fact that males produce sperm and females eggs but beyond that what do the terms mean? I terms of actions attitudes and social roles what does it mean to be male or female? For every example of ‘typical’ male or female behavior or presentation I can find several exceptions. The topic of what is a ‘real’ man or women deserves a post of it’s own and will get it but for the moment back to my own gender identity. My desires on gender presentation are to be mostly androgynous, whish I am not good at, but being able to slip to a male or female presentation at whim or necessity. I want to play with my body’s biochemistry to see how that affects my sense of self. So how does one characterize that, am I a transgender woman, a drag queen/king or something else? My problem is I’m not sure how I want to describe myself. There certainly isn’t any simple one or two word description so I guess I’ll just have to keep working with approximations until zI find something that works.

A Quick One While I’m Asleep

Just wondering why since gender is so central to our lives we have such limited language to describe aspects of it, at least in English. Basically our language covers two genders, male and female and that’s it. What’s worse is the tendency among many to hold very narrow definitions of what a man or woman should be. Ah but even worse is the widespread conflation of sexual orientation, gender and physical sex as all one and the same.

They aren’t of course though they do all interact with each other. The problem is many people would take the preceding sentence as complete nonsense because of the limitations of our language. This needs to be gone into in more depth than I can muster tonight so I’ll sleep on it.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Saturday Edition Of Friday Random Eleven

Eyes Of A Stranger by Queensrÿche
Don’t Change by INXS
Bella by Carlos Santana
Once In A While from The Rocky Horror Show
Squealer by AC/DC
Jet Boy by The New York Dolls
Looks That Kill by Mötley Crüe
Let Me Put My Love Into You by AC/DC
Lord Of Light by Iron Maiden
Flower In The Sun by Janis Joplin
The Fairy Queen by Clannad

Friday, January 23, 2009

Blogging For Choice 2009

A bit late to the game but arriving with very good news, Obama’s lifting the idiotic ‘Global Gag Rule’ . This bit of stupidity was first imposed under Reagan. Under it you can not even mention the word abortion if you want any U.S. funds. It didn’t matter that this was often a life and death issue, that women were going to get an abortion but it would be safer with a real doctor. No all that really mattered was keeping those evil sluts in line.

Being a trans-woman I don’t have to worry about ever having to make that sort of choice. I, however, do trust women to know their own situations well enough to be trusted with that choice. So let me leave you with a few words of wisdom from Monty Python

Go read more on this Blog For Choice Day

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Midnight Musings

I do seem to write these posts late don’t I? It must have something to do with my inability to sleep or focus lately. Of course my ‘stay awake all night, sleep all day’ sleep cycle may have something to do with it. I do love the night, especially here in the mountains where the stars are big and bright. I am in many ways a creature of the night.

Which circles back around to my last post on the othering of groups of people, those of us who like the nightlife are always looked at with suspicion. I suppose it has something to do with our ancestors’ fear of the dark, they had good reason there really were monsters out there hunting them.

There still are monsters out there hunting people but most are now human monsters. Still those human monsters of the night aren’t nearly as bad as the ones who work in broad daylight. Charles Manson is a twisted monster but at his worse didn’t do nearly the damage of say Dick Chaney, Charley orchestrated the death’s of fewer then a dozen people, Chaney orchestrated the Iraq war which has killed one hundred thousand people plus. Charley’s in jail for life, Chaney is free and living on a government pension. Is it any wonder I prefer the night?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Random Ramble Through My Mind

Let’s dig down and see what we find shall we?

Hmm must be something down here, ah yes me oft stated desire to be transformed by surgery and genetic engineering into a fully intersexed being. But I’ve explored that recently so onto other things such as the othering of we queers. If I achieved the body I want I would be considered a freak and not quite human by many. Then again many, especially the theocrats like Don Wildmon and Matt Barber among others, in general do not consider queers fully human. We certainly don’t seem to deserve equal protection under the law but we do semm to be good for the odd fund raising letter and scare mongering,

"The gravity of this situation cannot be overstated. Right out of the shoot, Obama has told the world that he is signing off, without exception, on every demand of the extremist homosexual and transsexual lobbies. The radical homosexual agenda and religious and free speech liberties cannot occupy the same space. It's a zero-sum game. When 1 - 2 percent of the population is granted special rights based on deviant sexual proclivities and changeable sexual behaviors, to the detriment of everyone else, that's called tyranny of the minority. People of faith and those of you with traditional values: hold on to your hats - it's going to be a bumpy four years," concluded Barber.

Of course this is all in the name of power, they need a out group they can paint as all powerful but who in realty is weak enough to push around. Queers fill that bill nicely because we are a small percentage of the population. This makes it easier to lie about us because many people don’t know any queers (or don’t know they know any). Then there is the fact that it has become unfashionable to be openly racist which was the default for a group to other in the past. So we are othered, called a greater threat then Al-Qaeda and blamed for hurricane Katrina.

To bring this full circle I want to other myself even more. Am I mad? No just tired of living a stunted life trying to fit into these scumbags perception of what I should be.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Another Bit Of Randomness

I just listened to fat white boy Rick Warren’s invocation; this video says it all.

I get bored with the constant chest beating of the theocrats, They are so sure that they have a monopoly on the ‘TRUTH’ that they feel free to control other peoples lives by doing things like yanking your IUD out because they are so stupid the think it’s a form of abortion;

"Having the IUD come out was a good thing [because] I personally do not like IUDs. I feel they are a type of abortion. I don't know how you feel about abortion, but I am against them. ...What the IUD does is take the fertilized egg and pushes it out of the uterus."

And this idiot is a registered nurse but I guess belief in her magic sky fairy overrides little things like facts or professional ethics.

Monday, January 19, 2009

A Bit Of Randomness

I am scared all the time now, my salary has been cut and I may lose our house. But I have no given into despair, which surprises me. Therapy has done more for me then I knew. I don’t know if I will be able to pull us out of this but I’m going to keep trying.

Now I think I’ll quietly cry myself to sleep

Sunday, January 18, 2009


War crimes in particular, the war crimes of Bush and company. One of the main charges at Nuremberg was waging aggressive war and Bush waged two of them. That’s right two, the invasion of Afghanistan was fully as unjustified as the invasion of Iraq. The Taliban offered to extradite Bin Laden if we could offer some evidence he was involved in 9/11, we couldn’t so we invaded. In Iraq there was not even that thin of an excuse, the Bush administration lied and led us to war. The result of these wars are hundred’s of thousands dead.

Bush and his cronies should be prosecuted for their crimes but chances are they won’t be. Instead they will retire with their ill-gotten gains into a life of luxury. In Bush’s case he is selling his show ranch in Crawford and moving into a home in Preston Hollow a only recently desegregated community. So you see crime does pay if you’re a spoiled scion of a rich and powerful family.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Another Friday, Another Eleven

2X4 by Metallica
Different Drum by Linda Ronstadt
Armed And Dangerous by Anthrax
29 Palms by Robert Plant
Many Roads by Clannad
King Herod’s Song (Try It And See) by Andrew Lloyd Webber
My Own Way (Single Version) by Duran Duran
Antmusic by Adam Ant
Kashmir by Led Zeppelin
Sinfonia Concertante by Mozart
Space Oddity by David Bowie

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Stressed Out To The Max

So on to some rock and roll

Welcome to the machine, you are all just grist for the mill

Because we are all just comfortably num

But the show must go on mustn’t it?

So run like hell

Stressed Out To The Max

So on to some rock and roll

Welcome to the machine, you are all just grist for the mill

Because we are all just comfortably num

But the show must go on mustn’t it?

So run like hell

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Another Journey To A Random Part Of My Mind

Tired after an up and down day. I can barely think, what few thoughts I have are sexual. According to the religious reich we ‘homosexuals’ are obsessed with sex yet I see more discussion of sex from these moral prudes then I do from the most slutty of queers. The question seems to be who is the most sex obsessed, queers or theocrats?

But this being my twisty little mind I would like to change the question, why aren’t we having more sex? I mean common is anybody getting as much sex as they would like? I say let’s have more pansexual orgies! Government subsidized distribution of sex toys as well as government-funded research into better sex toys. Lets have some real sex education from experts like Susie Bright, finally homework students would enjoy. It would lower the crime rate; it is after all very hard to rob a liquor store if someone is giving you a blowjob.

OK maybe I am getting a little carried away but wouldn’t maximizing human pleasure be a worthy goal for our civilization?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Another Random Journey To My Mind

We seem to be at a major crossroads on a number of levels now. The battle for queer rights actually seems to be making some small progress even in the god ridden U.S. The nation state is in crises and may be failing. The world economy is in recession and the ‘Washington Consensus’ is dead. In other word interesting times but with crises comes opportunity. While I am often times disgusted at the bigotry and hatred people can display to each other I am equally often amazed at the empathy and love people can display to complete strangers. As humans we create the meaning and purpose in life for ourselves so we have the potential to create wonders and horrors. Out of the chaos of the crumbling of the old order I hope comes not A new world but a multiplicity of new worlds. I would not be able to stand Rick Warren’s world but I know he would be miserable in mine. We humans are too diverse for any one size fits all solution and no solution is permanent because the world changes and we either change with it or die. So let a thousand flowers bloom and may we all find fulfillment and love.

Damn, I seem to be far more of an optimist than the cynic in me would like to admit.

Monday, January 12, 2009

The New DNC Chair

Obama has picked Virginia Governor Tim Kaine as the new chair of the DNC. A good southern moderate who is anti-choice and proposed a ‘one man one woman’ marriage amendment to the Virginia state constitution, just the man we need to lead the Democratic Party back to the early twentieth century. Meanwhile the rest of us live in the twenty first century.

Combine this with Obama inviting fat white boy Rick Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration and things become clearer. Obama intends to reach out to the religious reich by adopting all their positions on social issues. Yes I know what Obama says but actions speak louder than words.

I am so glad I voted for Cynthia McKinney .

Saturday, January 10, 2009

In Praise of Cheap but Fun Horror Movies

It’s Saturday and I have been drinking and watching horror movies so in lieu of anything profound some horror movies I have loved.

1. Frankenstein A true classic along with,

2. The Bride of Frankenstein These two masterpices by James Whale still stand up, profoundly moving with great performances from Boris Karloff as the creature and Colin Clive as his creator.

3. Curse of the Demon / Night of the Demon I do love this film in either the US or UK version. The actual demon is a bit cheesy, the director didn’t want to show it close up, but the movie still works,

4. Cat People This one can still raise your hackles. It neatly harnesses the power of your mind to scare you silly.

5. Prince Of Darkness A very underrated film by John Carpenter, scared the bejesus out of me when I first saw it. Still delightfully creepy.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Another Friday, Another Random Eleven

I like prime numbers so eleven it is,

Dead Girl Superstar by Rob Zombie
Pure And Easy by The Who
Dreaming City by Hawkwind
Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow by Twisted Sister
Need You Tonight by INXS
Hosanna by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Hello Little Girl by George Thorogood & The Destroyers
New Moon On Monday by Duran Duran
Jessica by The Allman Brothers Band
The Sky Is Crying (Live At Carnegie Hall) by Stevie Ray Vaughn & Double Trouble
Even In My Dreams by Afro Celt Sound System

Thursday, January 8, 2009

An End To It

One of my favorite songs is Veteran Of The Physic Wars from which I would like to quote part of the lyrics;

But the wars still going on dear
And there’s no end that I know
And I cant say if were ever...
I cant say if were ever gonna to be free

The war that’s still going, the culture war of the sixties, the Republicans, Neo-Cons, Religious Right and fellow travelers are all still fighting that war. They are opposed to every cultural and societal change that started in the sixties from the civil rights movement on. They are still fighting to return America to their version of Calvin Coolidge’s America. The fact that these battles are largely irrelevant to the world as it is now does not seem to matter to them. Look those of us who actually are children of the sixties are old now, can the rest of you mother fuckers just let go. Let’s have a end this sixty year long war and get on with the 21st century.

A Bit of Silliness

If I were a pinup girl I would be

You're the Tomboy Pinup.
You know what boys want because you think like one. Your sex appeal is in your confidence and you're not afraid to let loose.

Yes I can feature the chaps and red hair.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I’m Tired

I’m tired of living the lie of being a straight male when I’m not. I’m queer on very many levels, in gender, in sexual orientation, in pleasures and in general outlook on life. Time and resources mean I will have to move slowly to change how I present but I am going to do it.

I’m also tired of bigots hiding behind religion telling me I’m a worse threat to the U.S. the al Qaeda. They are lying hypocrites one and all from Dobson to Warren more interested in their own power games then the real human suffering that their preaching causes.

I’m tired of the unexamined assumptions, lack of critical thinking and just general stupidity that is condemning most of the world to misery and early death. We have it within our grasp to create a far better world. Not a paradise, we humans are too flawed for that, but still a world were everyone has the opportunity to find their own happiness.

Most of all I’m tired of the fear. The fear that power hungry scum use to try and control us, the fear which has kept me living a lie, the fear that keeps most of us from realizing our better natures. Let us break the bonds of fear and hate, let us laugh, love and truly be.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Democrats are the New French

Remember how the Republicans were calling the French ‘Cheese eating surrender monkeys’ a few years back? Well the Democrats are giving the French a run for their money in the surrender monkey category. Case in point, congress has just convened and already Obama is offering compromises on his economic stimulus plan. It would have been nice if Obama had waited to start appeasing the Republicans until hearings on the proposal had started.

Effectively there is blood in the water, if Obama is so quick to compromise now before he is even sworn in what concessions can the wring out of him in a few months on less critical issues? Given the general spinelessness of the Democratic congress over the last two years this is already looking like Clinton II. It’s going to be a long four years.

Monday, January 5, 2009

I Just Can’t win

If I work fast I make mistakes if I work carefully I take too long. Either way I get in trouble. I fear I’m going to get fired and I’m too old to find another job. I’m scared and depressed and I’m probably not going to get much sleep, which isn’t going to help tomorrow. I just want tom curl up and cry. Sometimes (most times) I hate my life, what there is of it.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

It Seems I'm Poison Ivy

Lovely little quiz on which Batman Villainess you are. My tenancy to make Batman or any other hero my slave makes me Poison Ivy. I always did like red hair and dark green is a good color for me so why not.

Which girl batman villain are you most like?!

My Result: Poison ivy
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Natasha Yar-Routh

You can even get superman to fall in love with you.little do you know you kissed bruce and he almost died but you kissed batman and he was cured. GOOD JOB YOU ALMOST HAD HIM.
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AIEEE! The Stupid It Burns!

Americans are grossly ignorant of the world around them as this video shows,

This stupidity is the result of 40+ years of grossly under funded public schools and a ‘news’ media that is more interested in ratings then news of any sort. Is it any wonder that people will believe the most transparent lies from government and pundits? Thus we are lead into things like the war in Iraq. I’m really embarrassed to be a citizen of this country.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

GOP Demands Say On Stimulus

So the losers want a say on Obama’s stimulus package do they. Well of course they do, can’t have it actually helping anyone but the rich can we? The poor babies are worried about the deficit.

But Republican opposition could complicate or delay Obama's plans. Boehner, McConnell, and others say they are concerned that the president-elect's proposal could add as much as $1 trillion to the already massive federal deficit and lacks enough detail to get it passed by Jan. 20.

Where was their concern for the deficit when we started blowing $100 billion plus a year on the Iraq war? The Republicans say, they just want to look things over.

McConnell said Republicans want to do the same thing to the stimulus bill, "page by page, line by line - eliminating those programs we don't need, and insisting that those we do operate in a sensible cost-effective way."

Translation we are going to be obstructionist bastards and to hell with the rest of the country. The Republicans only have one goal and one strategy to accomplish it, block anything proposed by ay Democrat and obstruct and stall in the Senate. It’s going to be a long two years until the next election.

Friday, January 2, 2009

The First Friday Random Ten of 2009

The Last Wall Of The Castle by Jefferson Airplane
Dragon Song by Hawkwind
Dreaming City by Hawkwind
I Need A Man To Love by Big Brother & The Holding Company
My Kinda Lover by Billy Squire
Antisocial by Anthrax
Sound And Vision by David Bowie
Return Of The Phantom Stranger by Rob Zombie
Machine Man by Judas Priest
Meet El Presidente by Duran Duran

Thursday, January 1, 2009

A New Year

It's a new year, one of several I celebrate. The others I like are the Lunar or Chinese New Year, January 26th this year, the Zoroastrian new year Nowruz on the spring Equinox, Rosh Hashanah of course and the Asatru New Year on Samhain or November 1st. I like to celebrate the different new years to help keep me aware of the partially arbitrary nature of time. Oh time may pass but how we measure the passage of time is very arbitrary.