Saturday, October 31, 2009

Random Yet Again

Tired, weary and feeling my age. So lets free-associate and see what comes. I have a lot of new readers of this blog many from Vietnam. I am very curious as to why so if any of my Vietnamese readers would like to speak up I would appreciate it.

Here in the U.S. Vietnam is our own ‘November criminals stabbed in the back' myth. As usual those who thought the war was a bad idea in the first place are blamed rather then the bloodthirsty idiots who started the war.

Meanwhile as usual here queers and feminists are being blamed for everything that’s gone wrong in the last 40 years. The thing is we haven’t been running things, the conservatives have. Or they have except when they fuck things up so bad that a centrist Democrat gets in for a few years.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Defaming Christians

There is something called the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission who are whining about the Matthew Sheppard Hate Crimes Act. They some how think this will infringe on their vile hate speech. It won’t and they know it but their lying little sods. They need a good sold example of defaming their sort of christians and being a generous little queer I’ll give it to them.

Christ was a queer, probably bisexual maybe trans gender, rabbi preaching a radical message of peaceful resistance to the power structure. He was executed by the Romans because he threatened the status quo. After he was dead his movement was hijacked by a bitter, deeply closeted misogynist by the name of Saul who went by the alias of Paul. After Paul got through turning it into a intolerant little cult it was hijacked again, this time by the Roman Emperor Constantine. He turned Paul’s cult in to an instrument of Imperial power, a nice authoritarian ideology. Most organized christian churches are still run by power hungry men looking to ally with would be empires. The Christian Anti-Defamation Commission is merely one among many such power grubbing organizations calling themselves Christian.

Friday Random Thirteen

The Murder Mystery by The Velvet Undreground.
Kashmir by Led Zeppelin
La La La Lies by The Who
Operation: Mindcrime by Quensr├┐che
Operation: Mindcrime by Quensr├┐che
I Don’t Want Your Love (Big Mix) by Duran Duran
Hellrider by Judas Priest
Iron Maiden by Iron Maiden
Heading Out To The Highway by Judas Priest
Heart Of The Devil by Danzig
Hungry by Lita Ford
Return Of The Phantom Stranger by Rob Zombie
Armed And Dangerous by Anthrax

Yes Operation: Mindcrime is so good iTunes decided to play it twice

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Big scare word in the U.S. is socialism. From the uses it has been put to it’s obvious most people don’t have a clue about what it really means. They just know it’s a bad thing, or so they’ve been told. So let’s start off with a dictionary definition shall we? From;

1. a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole.
2. procedure or practice in accordance with this theory.
3. (in Marxist theory) the stage following capitalism in the transition of a society to communism, characterized by the imperfect implementation of collectivist principles

There not so scary now is it? Notice it does not necessarily government control of production and distribution though it practice that is usually true. Notice also that social welfare programs like national health insurance are not socialist by nature. In fact Otto von Bismarck, the Iron Chancellor, introduced the modern social welfare state programs in the German Empire during the Nineteenth Century. He did this both to forestall the rise of the Social Democrats and because he knew that the social welfare programs would benefit the state as a whole.

Now the U.S. Government having majority control of two of the three major Detroit auto companies that is incipient socialism. Not that it looks like the take over will be permanent. If Obama really were a socialist he would have nationalized Wall Street.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What Is The Real Me? Part 2

I often ask myself that question. I mean how queer am I really? I do, after all, present as male and am married to a cis-gendered straight woman. What could be more normal? Than again I’m sexually attracted to men, trans-men, trans-women and several other gender queer people I know. I am also a pain slut and for the right person deeply submissive. So I think it’s fair to say I’m sexually queer.

On the gender front things are a bit more ambiguous. As I said I present as very male. Then again I have a number of feminine mannerisms and a fairly high voice. My internal sense of gender runs from a sissy male to a butch dyke, does that make any sense at all? Maybe it doesn’t and that may be the queerest thing of all

Friday, October 23, 2009

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist

No man who ever lived knows any more about the hereafter ... than you and I; and all religion ... is simply evolved out of chicanery, fear, greed, imagination and poetry - Edgar Allan Poe

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

What Is The Real Me?

Kate Bornstien started a discussion on Twitter today on what areas of our lives do people consider us real and in what areas do they consider us fake. A very important question for trans-gender and gender queer people as our lives often depend on how other people see us. If we are perceived as fake or deceivers many people fell justified in attacking us. Just as important is how we see ourselves; I struggle with feelings of being some sort of fake all the time. That is the sort of thing that can lead to deep depression and even thoughts of suicide.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist

The world holds two classes of men -- intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence. - Abu'l-Ala-Al-Ma'arri

Monday, October 19, 2009

Late Night Run Back To The Center Of My Mind

A little late night self-therapy while Dr. Cooper is out of town.

The center of my mind s a dark place filed with pain, my pain. You see I would willing solve the Lament Configuration and summon the Cenobite’s to take me to that extreme of experience where pain and pleasure are one. Sensations of the flesh are really all we have. Our intellectual achievements come from the electro chemical workings of our brains. There is no mind/body duality it is all one.

But that is not to say we are simple for even a ‘simple’ cell is incredibly complex. We are made up of trillions of cells. We are very complex beings crafted by nature and nurture the sum of our experiences.

My but this little journey has made an interesting little discursion hasn’t it?

My addiction to the flesh is one reason the Trans-Humanists leave me so cold. Too many of them seem positively eager to give up the flesh for the sterile world of electronic existence. Seems more like thantos than eros to me. Nothing lives forever and I would prefer the death of the flesh to the living death of machine life.

I believe that is enough to think about for the moment, Now to sleep the sleep of the dammed

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Sunday Edition Of A Friday Random Thirteen

Until It Sleeps by Metallica
Voodoo by Black Sabbath
Judas’ Death by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Rebel Yell by Billy Idol
Let Me Down Slow by The Rolling Stones
Show No Mercy by Slayer
I Can Never Be Your Woman by Whitetown
The Wizard by Black Sabbath
The Had That Feeds by Nine Inch Nails
The Fairy Queen by Clannad
Trust Me by Janis Joplin
Tracks Of My Tears by Linda Ronstadt
Trinidad by Puya

Friday, October 16, 2009

Time To Stop Ironing My Hands

I Harry Potter Dobby the house elf punishes himself for any disobedience to his master, one time he irons his hands. It is a literal embodiment of the way we all punish ourselves for perceived failures and transgressions. Dobby final escapes the compulsion to punish him self when he gets a piece of clothing, a old sock, from his master and is free.

Well I want to free myself from the self-punishment game to. Rather it is for some error I made at work or for transgressing society’s gender norms I want to move beyond a destructive round of self-flagellation. So I have decided to hold my own clothing gift ceremony. I’m going to find some piece of clothing, probably high femme, and gift to myself. I want to create a little ceremony for this, something to mark a change in my life.

I would be happy to take any suggestions on the ceremony and will report on how things are shaping up. Stay tuned….

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Roll Of The Queer Dice

Yes this is another of those random stream of consciousness screeds.

I live on many edges, the financial edge, the mental edge and the gender edge. The financial edge because I’ve taken two pay cuts since the beginning of the year to keep my job. My debt load was just manageable at my old salary, now it’s a scramble just to survive. All that pressure does not help my stress levels. The stress is pushing me to the edge of a major depressive episode. Having been over that edge I don’t want to go back. Pulling me along that edge is the gender edge as I try to live with a fluid sense of my own gender. I do my best to embrace uncertainty and ambiguity in regards to gender and sexual orientation. Maybe that’s why I like Aeon Flux so much after all she is the edge. Meanwhile I dance on the edge and sometimes long for the abyss.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist

Religion is based, I think, primarily and mainly upon fear. It is partly the terror of the unknown and partly, as I have said, the wish to feel that you have a kind of elder brother who will stand by you in all your troubles and disputes. Fear is the basis of the whole thing -- fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death. Fear is the parent of cruelty, and therefore it is no wonder if cruelty and religion have gone hand in hand. – Bertrand Russell

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Am I Trans Enough For You Baby?

That is a question I often ask myself, I didn’t go through many of the extreme examples of gender dysphoria that many trans people go through. I have never felt so much that I was a woman as that I was not a man. Some things I do are very femme, others more male or is that butch? Which is it, am I a mostly femme sometimes butch trans-woman or a gender queer man with a strong femme side? Maybe I’m something else entirely.

I just found this wonderful graphic that so totally explains my feelings written by a female bodied Gender Queer Trans Man.

So yes I am trans, transcending the gender binary because I don’t fit within it at all. I want to transgress societies gender rules completely. I want to transform gender so everyone can find a gender identity that is comfortable for them.

NOTE: Un fortunately the transcension graphic story has been deleted. I will try to track it down and post a new link.

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Real Reason For The Decline Of The Republic

At the founding of the United States of America, Americans drank more alcohol than at any time before or since: Five gallons of pure alcohol per person per year as opposed to two gallons today.

The founding fathers, the minutemen, the Continental Army hell the whole country where a bunch of alcoholics. Booze, it’s what made America great. So get to drinking if you want to restore the Republic to greatness.

Hat tip to Doggy Style

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist

The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weakness, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still purely primitive, legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this. – Albert Einstien

Saturday, October 3, 2009

A Long Nights Journey Into Incoherence

I am dead tired so don’t expect even the small amount of sense I occasionally can muster.

I am Queer and enjoy being a queer. Time and circumstances may leave me looking sort of straight, except for the light makeup and five ear piercing, but I’m not in the least. I’m a gender queer stone femme sissy who wants everyone to be free to be their real selves whatever that may be. I tried fitting in and it just led to a dark depression. I may have waited too long to discover my true self to present the way I truly want to but it’s all still here inside.

Too tired to continue right now, good night all.

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. Voltaire

Friday, October 2, 2009

A Long Nights Journey Into Flem

Why yes I am coughing my lungs out thank you, another random ramble this time fueled by being sick.

Being sick reminds me of how much I’ve depended on modern, evidence-based medicine to keep me alive. I had pneumonia when I was a kid and without modern medicine I probably would not have lived to see middle school. Which is why I am so pissed of at the anti-vaccination idiots. . These rambling loons are killing people.

To take up to a larger view it seems science and reason are under assault from the right and the left. You wouldn’t be reading these words without rational thinking and science, don’t let some religious nitwit tell you otherwise

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Another Late Night Ramble

I have no idea where I’m going but going I am.

Yesterday was the First International Blasphemy day, so a day late some serious blasphemy. To quote Patti Smith, Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine. Muhammad was a third rate poet and there is no Allah or any other god. There are lot’s of gods and goddesses all claiming to be the true one all backed by some sacred text or other. They can’t all be true but they all can be false.

Well that was fun, sort of.

Tired, night all