Friday, November 28, 2008

A Thanksgiving prayer from William S. Burroughs

A very appropriate prayer from a brilliant writer and major league junky

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Smallpox-Blanket Day

The first day of thanksgiving was celebrated in 1637 in New England. The cause for the celebration was the puritan’s successful perpetration of the Mystic Massacre in which 600 to 700 Pequot’s were burned alive or shot trying to escape, most of them women and children. This was considered an act of God to be celebrated henceforth. It was a minor miracle that there were 700 Pequot’s to be massacred as they had lost 80% of their population to Smallpox in 1633. As bad as that was it was still better then other Eastern nations that had lost 90% of their population to Smallpox in 1616-1619. The official story of Indian and pilgrim sitting down to a peaceful dinner is all a dirty lie.

So by all means America stuff your faces and celebrate a history for conquest and genocide. I hope you choke.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Unforgivable Sin

Star Trek and J.J. Abrams have committed the unforgivable sin, they kill a classic Corvette in the opening of the new Star Trek film. The young Kirk drives it over a cliff; unfortunately he doesn’t go over with it. I was just bored with Trek and trekies, now I actively hate them and Abrams. If you’re interested here is the lame ass trailer for this piece of drek;

Sunday, November 16, 2008

An Extended Riff

I really do represent the past, a past that should be dead and buried. The Mormons and Catholics represent an even deader past. They are shambling zombies, shoot them in the head, burn the corpse and never look back.

Those family values and marriage they are protecting by denying your rights are all dirty lies. There never was a olden age of morality and innocence, those who claim there was are liars or delusional. The only golden age is the one all of you at the Join The Impact rallies across the country are creating.

Lear from the past but don’t let it control you. My generation tried and failed, learn from our mistakes and succeed. I belong to the dead, you are the living now go and live.


Really that’s all I’ve got to say.

I notice that all the ‘responsible’ types are warning that we queers should be careful, we mustn’t get too uppity with our demonstrations. We must be polite and not upset anybody. Well fuck that, power never yields anything unless challenged. So get out there and demonstrate, boycott, write letters, blockade churches and just generally get in their faces.

As for me it’s over really, I haven’t got much time left. I’m the dead past, cast me off and create your own future. Bury the hatred and bigotry, bury it alive if need be and create the lives you deserve.

Now excuse me as I toast the past and seal my fate forever

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Be Loud, Be Proud

Go to Join The Impact and find out where your local protest for marriage rights is and get out there today. A message from Slash & Perla follows;

Friday, November 14, 2008

A Return Journey To The Center Of My Mind

The weariness that seems ready to overwhelm me is in large part my own creation. I know how to take care of myself, how to organize my time but I don’t do it. I ask myself why? Let’s explore this shall we?

Even as I type this I should be sleeping so why keep typing? I part writing has it’s own dynamic but also I have a self-destructive streak that predates my currently in remission depression. I am also quit lazy, but is that part of the self-destructive streak or a separate problem? Hmm, good question that, now do I have a good answer? I think they are intertwined, feeding each other and now overlaid with the ongoing depression. The feed off it and are fed by it, ah the complexity of the mind and life in general. Of course this is all intertwined with my gender queerness and the long suppression of same. So would taking the next steps and starting hormones coming out to the world in general solve these problems? Probably not but it would very probably start to tease lose the various intertwined strands.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Shadows of the Moon

White moonlight gives black shadows
Shadows like black blood on the gray skin of the Earth

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Burning Time

As I’ve mentioned the Phoenix legend fascinates me, to cones your self in fire and rise again reborn. But I’m also fascinated by fire in general; it’s purifying, destructive and trans formative power. Now the theocrats would love to see queers burn quite literally, but to the fire they send us and from the fire we shall return reborn.

We will walk through the fire and let it burn. We will return with the passionate fire and make your world burn so our world can rise from the ashes.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Bah Humbug

I hate this time of year I truly do. From November to January has brought nothing but pain and misery or the last twenty-nine years at least. I have had loved ones diagnosed with or die from cancer, I have been in auto accidents, I have nearly destroyed my marriage multiple times. I’m having a depressive episode even as I type, flying into rages and entertaining suicidal thoughts. The dark days seem to bring out the darkness in me. I want little or nothing to do with the world. Winter is for hibernating.

To make matters worse this year one of my sort of in laws is a dedicated Mormon. It’s going to be very hard to keep quite when all I want to do is rail at her and her miserable church to fuck off and die. Going to be a miserable Christmas.

W00T! (2)

1000 unique page views! It's been eleven month getting here but well worth it Enough self-congratulations,back to regular (?) blogging soon

Sunday, November 9, 2008

A Random Journey To The Center Of My Mind

I’m too tired and too angry and too anxious for a coherent post so back into the inner dark. Clive Barker is one of my favorite writers/artists. Among his creations the Cenobites, Theologians of the Order of the Gash, are the most alluring to me. I so understand the pain/pleasure nexus they work from. To answer a unasked question I would solve the Lemarchand Configuration knowing exactly what would happen to me. I do want to explore the extremes of pain and pleasure and the ragged edge were they can merge and overlap. I am also fascinated by Barker’s concept of flesh as art through extreme reconfigurations of flesh. This crosses with my own desire for bodily modification to become the androgynous creature of my dreams. In may darker dreams I am an androgynous nightmare. Perhaps this is all the result of the fact that so much of society sees gender variant people as monsters. Perhaps it is that being an outsider I have always found the outsider/monster a sympathetic figure. Whatever the source the archetype of being a technological Phoenix arising from the fire of the destruction of my old life calls to me.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

A Gender Queer Trans-Woman With A Hart Full Of Hate

This editorial in The Los Angeles Times pissed me off enough that I can’t respond rationally right now. Not even six hours latter. It brought out the dark nihilist side of my personality. The one that wants to shove a bomb up everyone’s ass;

Friday, November 7, 2008

Friday Random Ten, Evening Edition

Kozmic Blues – Janis Joplin
Pretty Maids All In A Row – The Eagles
Live And Learn – Clannad
Muscle of Love – Alice Cooper
The Under Tree World Of Jacques Cousteau – Bob Rivers
All Along The Water – Duran Duran
Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) – Mötley Crüe
All The Love In The World – Nine Inch Nails
Dread And The Fugitive Mind – Megadeth
Down To The Sea – Robert Plant

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Non-Citizen

5,376,424 of my fellow Californians have just told me I’m a non-citizen; someone who is not worthy of having the same legal rights as they have. It seems I’m not worthy because I might want to have legal recognition of a relationship they don’t approve of. It could be worse I could live in Arkansas in which case ther would be no way Lyne and I could adopt should we want to. Better a child should stay in an orphanage they be raised by a same gender or sex couple. We are obviously too vile to be trusted around children. How long before we are facing a similar initiative here in California? As a non-citizen how long before I’m striped of any protections or rights under the law by my fellow Californians?

As a non-citizen is there any reason I should respect the society around me? My answer is no, there isn’t any reason at all. So fuck this society and the bigots who so want to exclude me from it. The only thing I have for their little world is FIRE! I bid them to BURN!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


It looks like California’s proposition 8, which enshrines discrimination in the California constitution, is going to win by about 53%. I am sick, depressed and mad. Very, very mad, I want revenge. Two quotes come to mind, Joe Hill’s when facing execution, ‘Don’t mourn, organize’ and Otto von Bismarck’s, ‘The best defense is a good offense’ The Iron Chancellor was right and we queers have been playing defense far too long.

So I think it’s time to go on the attack, we have two years to organize and put our own pro equality measure on the ballot. If we don’t win we need to keep coming back until we do win. I have zero experience organizing but hopefully some of you out there do and will help get the ball rolling. Death to discrimination, on to victory!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Live Blogging the election (along with 10 million other people)

11:25 PM DIXVILLE NOTCH, New Hampshire has spoken and it’s Obama big time, which of course means absolutely fucking nothing.

6:36 AM Well the polls are open in most states and the turn out looks to be high which will probably favor Obama. Starbucks, Krispy Kreme and Ben & Jery’s are offering free goodies to voters. This should be an interesting day.

7:50 AM A tweet from Alexander, five people a minute getting in line to vote a half an hour before the poles open. He laso reported that there is already trouble at the polling places. It seems our election system is predicated on low voter turn out. It cannot handle people actually exercising their franchise. I predict some epic meltdowns during the course of the day.

9:39 AM Still no results but lots of reports of long lines and voting problems . This is going to be a very messy election.

This election has been yet another battle over the sixties. That became obvious with the red baiting calls of socialist and bringing up Bill Ayers and the Weathermen. Can I just say enough! Let’s have an end to it. I’m a child of the sixties and I’m bored by all this, it’s the twenty first century let’s move on.

3:39 PM Well crap, with the first 50,000 or so votes counted McCain leads with 51% of the vote. If the wrinkled old white guy wins Lyne and I are out of here.

5:20 PM OK that’s more like it, Obama with 52% of the vote and 78 electoral votes to McCain’s 34. Ah yes the right bloggers are already whining that it’s all do ‘media bias’ Yep all those left wingers like Murdock. Of course these are the same people that are blaming Carter for the financial meltdown, bunch of delusional twits.

5:44 PM Whoa, Obama has a 53% to 46% lead in Florida with 38% of the precincts reporting. He wins Florida and McCain is in deep shit.

7:44 PM It’s over, Obama has 220 electoral votes with California polls still open. California has 55 electoral votes and will certainly go to Obama. Now the drama is on prop’s 4 & 8.

10:28 PM Well Obama won big time and that’s good. Also prop 4 hear in California is going down to defeat which is good. Of course this is the third time the stupid and dangerous parental notification law has been on the ballot and the theocrats will be back. But right now all is ashes and rust because hate is wining in the form of prop 8. It looks like we may enshrine discrimination in the California constitution. To all those who voted for prop 8, FUCK OFF AND DIE!

I am an anti-christ, I am an anarchist

Random Gender Thoughts

Time for another trip through the swamp I call a mind. If I could have the body I want through say genetic engineering I would be a perfect hermaphrodite. Able to be both a father and a mother, since genetic science isn’t there yet I’ll settle for being a non-op trans-woman taking enough hormones to feminize the U.S. Marine Corp. I still want to be able to pass as male because I want to totally fuck with people’s perception of my gender. Hell I want to totally fuck with Gender. This is a very gendered society, to change that would be a greater revolution than any other. I want gender anarchy, be the gender of your choice.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Random Thoughts on a Sunday Evening

I feel so very honored that Kate Borsnstein re-Twitted my post ‘A Meditation on Death’. I so very admire and have been influenced by her writing so her to think it was worth brining to other peoples attention was very flattering. I haven’t felt this way since Michael Moorcock and Charles Platt published some of my short works in New Worlds about thirty years ago.

Interesting that the Republicans are preaching the virtues of split party rule . Funny they didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with one party rule when they were the one party.

Primeval is one of my favorite shows on TV this season. I would have watched seven if it were so so because I’m a sucker for prehistoric life forms. But Primeval is well-written wit good characterization and sharp plotting that keeps you guessing. The only real problem is that it ran on BBC America, which not everyone gets. It will be coming out on DVD soon, Primeval: The Complete Series 1 and 2 get it if you can. If you like intelligent well done Science Fiction you won’t be sorry.

A worthy cause, One Velociraptor Per Child . With that I go to bed.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

A Meditation On Death

Inspired by my friend Alexander Yoo, everything dies. You, me and everyone we know will die. Our species will die eventually, as have 99% of all species that have ever lived have done. When we humans are gone the gods and goddesses we have created will go with us. When the sun expands into a red giant in a few billion years the Earth will die. The sun will follow collapsing into a white dwarf and then slowly cooling to a black dwarf. As our Universe relentlessly expands our galaxy will finally be alone an island unto it’s self, as will all other galaxies. Eventually our galaxy will run out of the dust and gas to make new stars and one by one the remaining stars will die leaving black dwarfs, neutron stars or black holes. But even black holes will evaporate eventually leaving nothing behind. And after uncounted billions of years protons will decay and disintegrate leaving nothing but the void. The abyss will have triumphed at last. There is no true immortality so live the life you have to the fullest

Happy Dia De Los Muertos

Yes it is the Day Of The Dead so how appropriate that we have a new Harry Potter trailer, as this is the movie where Dumbledore dies and Harry visits memories of the dead