Friday, August 15, 2008

The Ten Commandments

Why so serious about the Ten Commandments? I know there are theocrats who say they are the basis of all our laws so lets see how many I have broken shall we?

I. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

Well there goes the first one down the tubes. Before I gave up gods altogether I was Asatruar and still have graven idols on my mantel.

II. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of your God

Another one bites the dust, I do swear a lot. Doe sit count for anything that I don’t belive in the old fart anymore?

III. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy

Three strikes, I guess I’m out. Sundays just another day and yesy I have worked on Sundays.

IV. Honor your father and mother

OK, this one I have kept.

V. You shall not murder

Nope never killed anyone and I hope never to kill anyone.

VI. You shall not commit adultery

Well there was no physical relation ship, it was strictly cyber, but yeah I did break this one. It was a crappy thing to do but I was in love with both him and Lyne. Still doesn’t make it right.

VII. You shall not steal

Do office supplies count? No really do they?

VIII. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor

Never done it, never will.

IX. You shall not covet your neighbor's house

Well of course I have. It would be un-American not to. Our whole economy is built on coveting stuff and then working hard to get it. Or going deeply into debt, that works to,

X. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife

Can honestly say I never have.

So there we have it. I’ve broken five and a half commandments, still not sure about where stealing office supplies falls.

Oh, I’ve also blasphemed and done it regularly. So I guess I’m going straight to hell, that is I would be if there were a hell.

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