Thoughts Of Sorrow, Thoughts Of Pain

We who don’t fit into societies gender box have a painful road to travel. Weather we are cross dressers, transsexuals or gender queer we are all tarred with the same brush. We are ‘faggots’, sexual predators, and deviants, its not even worthy of being considered human. Boring isn’t it? And that is even sadder, this has all been said again and again and is sill true. Even our progressive ‘allies’ think nothing of using our very identities as a source of putt downs and cheap jokes. Fuck ‘em all, I’m angry and ready to put the boot in. Deeds not words are what I want now. If you work to help me and mine then I will call you friend and ally, if not then may you rot in hell.

The Friday Random Thirteen Continues

Fire In The City – The Deviants
Perversion – Rob Zombie
Different World – Iron Maiden
Crossfire – Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble
Love Voodoo – Duran Duran
Gloriana – Michael Moorcock & The Deep Fix
Johanna – The Stooges
Summertime – Big Brother & The Holding Company
The Otherside – Afro Celt
Before They Make Me Run – The Rolling Stones
Commotion – Creedence Clearwater Revival
When The Whip Comes Down – The Rolling Stones
Green Instrument – Afro Celt

A Last Thought Before Sleep

So it seems even odds rather Obama will defend Social Security and ask for a tax increase or sell Social Security out with benefit cuts and increasing the retirement age. If Obama goes for option twp it will put him to the right of Ronald Reagan. That there is even a chance of this, much less even odds, should convince any one that Ted Rall is right in The Anti-American Manifesto that we need a revolution.

A Short History Lesson

Have you ever heard of the Opium Wars? The first Opium War was fought from 1839 to 1842. It started because the British had a balance of trade deficit with China until the British started exporting opium to China from their Indian plantations. Understandably the Chinese objected to this and when the arrested British opium dealers the British went to war and won. The second Opium War included the French who wanted in on the profits. The US was late to the game but after we had finished stealing North America from the First Nations we were ready to move out into the world so we came up with the Open Door Policy which meant everyone got a equal share of the spoils. And get in on the spoils we did. Many of the famous and respected of Yankee families got their start in the Chinese opium trade . Remember this the next time some politician blathers on about the ‘Drug War’.

A Little Music To Close The Night

If we’re in Hell we’re going to burn



While we’re here we should havesome sympathy for the devil

Random Thoughts As I Try To Sleep

For some reason I have been having trouble sleeping so you get the joy of my disconnected thoughts, lucky you.

I am a coward on many levels, not so much physical as emotional. That is why I am out to only select people. Not that I would ever deny who and what I am if asked but I have barely transitioned so it doesn’t come up. Most of the reason for my oh so slow transition is my fear of confrontation with those close to me. See, a coward.

I have a friend who has reached his limit. Too many people asking too much of him. He has done much for me and I feel useless to him right now. And so I make it about me again, fuck it all I want is to take his pain away and I can’t.

I despair at my fellow humans stupidity. We can all be stupid at times but right now we seem to be having a monumental outbreak of stupid. In the midst of recovering from a worldwide recession these cretins want to implement austerity. Yes that’s just what fragile economies need pulling a few billions out of them and knocking thousand into unemployment. Apparently they do not read history or they would know FDR made the same mistake moving to austerity just when the economy was picking up steam and sending back into recession. Now they want to repeat the error on a global scale. Hang on it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

A Few More Reasons To Celebrate

I quite liked listing successful trans people so here are a few more.

Genesis Breyer P-Orridge gender queer pandrogynous musician, performer, artist and wrecker of civilization. Sylvia Rivera latina activist, Stonewall rioter and founding member of The Gay Liberation Front. Without her there would probably be no TBLG rights in this country. We should honor her by destroying the Human Rights Campaign. Billy Tipton jazz musician and band leader.

Quite simply there are a lot of trans women, trans men and gender queers who have fought the long odds and managed to carve out careers and families in a hostile world. Now we want the right to live our lives openly as who we are, we won’t give up and we’re tougher then you can imagine.

The Friday Random Thirteen Is Back

Tuff Baby – Iggy Pop
Mass Production – Iggy Pop
Black Magic – Slayer
Sirius – Clannad
Break It Up – Patti Smith
Come Go With Me – The Beach Boys.
Sexy Boy – Kinky Boyz
Broken Arrow – Buffalo Springfield
Nobody Gives – The Kinks
Iron Head – Rob Zombie
Crazy Love – The Allman Brothers Band
The Jean Genie – David Bowie
Safe European Home – The Clash

On Being A Un-Person

In the dystopian world of Oceania the worst fate was to become a un-person. Not only did you disappear you had never been. All record of your existence was erased.

Trans people face this fate all the time. If we are lucky our deaths are reported as ‘man living as woman’, if not we are ‘gay men found in woman’s clothing’ or ‘masculinly dressed women.’ We are buried under the wrong name with the wrong gender pronoun. Our lived existence is erased, who we really were is gone and we become un-person’s. We are forced to fight for our trans sibling’s identities so they can be remembered as who they were not as some bigoted relatives wanted them to be.

I just became aware of a nasty new turn to this erasing of our chosen identities, a greedy relative trying to re-write the narrative of a life while the person is still alive albeit gravely ill. Catherine Ryan Hyde is trying to appropriate Gender Warrior Leslie Feinberg’s identity. Please read Feinberg’s impassioned post and reblog it. Fight the un-person movement directed at trans people.

Looking For The Bright Side

I’m looking for the bright side of life but having trouble finding it right now. Chrissie Bates murdered and then defamed by the media. Three of my trans sisters murdered in as many days in Honduras. The constant slander that we are all sexual predators who will use any legal recognition of our rights to assault women in bathrooms. Not really a lot of bright side there.

But then I remember those of us who have not merely survived but triumphed. Victoria Kolakowski who made history by becoming the first out tras woman elected to the bench. Lynn Conway groundbreaking computer scientist. Jamie Fenton who helped ot your mind by designing video games. Jeffrey Catherine Jones award wining artist. Vladimir Luxuria Italian actress and politician. Caroline Paige RAF fighter pilot. Parinya Kiatbusaba Mut Thai champion, actress and model. All these very successful trans women and many more are a inspiration to us all. They sow we can not merely survive but triumph. A very bright side indeed.

Another Double Murder

Chrissie Bates was stabbed to death in her Minneapolis apartment this week. Then she was murdered again by the Minneapolis Star-Tribune . Their headline proclaimed ‘Man who lived as woman found slain in Minneapolis apartment’.She wasn’t a man living as a woman she was a trans woman. The Star-Tribune decided to ignore the AP stylebook and ungender her in death.

You might wonder why I even bother to write about this since it so regularly happens to trans women in death. That is the very reason I am writing this, because it must stop. For the most part the only coverage trans women and trans men get in the media is in the advent of our all too frequent murders. The media by ungendering and othering us help perpetuate this cycle of violence. After all it really isn’t murder of the person your killing is an it and some sort of freak. So I would ask that the media treat us with respect in death with the hope that those of us still living might be seen as human and allowed to get on with our lives. A probably vain hope but a girl can dream.

As I Slip Into Unconsciousness, More Late Night Thoughts

Madness and mystery surround us all. We are walking chemical reactions, how much of ours lives are just chemical processes? Trans men and we trans women often chose to alter our nature with chemicals, specifically those very powerful things called hormones. They change our entire bodies and minds. I have changed the balance of the chemical reactions that make me me. I am now a different person, a Phoenix rising from a chemical fire

As I Slip Into Unconsciousness

So it seems the AZ shooter was another broken human who was uneducated, lied to and betrayed by the society of selfishness around him He finally reached the breaking point and blew up killing and wounding all around him. There are a lot more like him out there and the selfish idiots keep putting the pressure on them and breaking of any relief valves. I fear there will be more explosion

And So It Begins

I said there would be blood and now a district judge mas been assassinated and a congresswoman if fighting for her life with a head wound. This is the ‘second amendment solution’ the tea baggers were touting come to bloody life. Don’t think that this is a climax, it is still just the overture. The forces roused now will brook no set back however minor. They will react with rage and violence at any successful opposition. I fear war has come down and the hounds of hell unleashed.

What website do you spend the most time on?

That is a changing target. For the moment it would be http://echobazaar.failbettergames.com/ a game that lets me play a character of indistinct gender

Ask me anything

Thoughts For A Dying Empire

An occasional series, which I hope, will illuminate the twilight of the American Empire

Today three from Big Bill Haywood and a bonus from a random I.W.W.  member.

For every dollar the boss has and didn’t work for, one of us worked for a dollar and didn’t get it.

A liberal is the guy who leaves the room when a fight starts.

The barbarous gold barons do not find the gold, they do not mind the gold, they do not mill the gold, but by some weird alchemy all the gold belongs to them.

You ask me why the I.W.W. is not patriotic to the United States. If you were a bum without a blanket; if you had left your wife and kids when you went west for a job, and had never located them since; if your job had never kept you long enough in a place to qualify you to vote; if you slept in a lousy, sour bunkhouse, and ate food just as rotten as they could give you and get by with it; if deputy sheriffs shot your cooking cans full of holes and spilled your grub on the ground; if your wages were lowered on you when the bosses thought they had you down; if there was one law for Ford, Suhr, and Mooney, and another for Harry Thaw; if every person who represented law and order and the nation beat you up, railroaded you to jail, and the good Christian people cheered and told them to go to it, how in hell do you expect a man to be patriotic? This war is a business man's war and we don't see why we should go out and get shot in order to save the lovely state of affairs that we now enjoy.

Yes I am an Anarchist and a I.W.W. mwember

Shocked, Shocked I Am!

It seems the much-ballyhooed figure of $ 100 Billion the Republicans were going to cut from the discretionary budget is now non operational. On and Tax cuts do not count against the deficit anymore. The Republicans have nothing against spending so long as the money goes to the right sort. The sort who bankroll the little slime into office

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist.

But I found it more and more difficult, with free scope given to my imagination, to invent evidence which would suffice to convince me. Thus disbelief crept over me at a very slow rate, but was at last complete. The rate was so slow that I felt no distress, and have never since doubted even for a single second that my conclusion was correct. I can indeed hardly see how anyone ought to wish Christianity to be true; for if so the plain language of the text seems to show that the men who do not believe, and this would include my Father, Brother and almost all my best friends, will be everlastingly punished.
And this is a damnable doctrine. Although I did not think much about the existence of a personal God until a considerably later period of my life, I will here give the vague conclusions to which I have been driven. The old argument of design in nature, as given by Paley, which formerly seemed to me so conclusive, fails, now that the law of natural selection has been discovered. We can no longer argue that, for instance, the beautiful hinge of a bivalve shell must have been made by an intelligent being, like the hinge of a door by man. There seems to be no more design in the variability of organic beings and in the action of natural selection, than in the course which the wind blows. Everything in nature is the result of fixed laws. – Charles Darwin

Random Thoughts Before I Slip Into Unconsciousness.

Back in L.A. again the place I grew up in. It takes a particular kind of evil madness to thrive in this place. We attract the broken and the dreamers from across the country and then feed on their broken bodies and shredded souls. This song who’s opening line was spoken by a homeless black man real does say it all

Who's the most overrated actor?

Neal Patric Harris, a talentless little annoyance

Ask me anything

Are things getting better for transgendered people or is it kind of a topsy turvy rocky road towards acceptance and equality?

Right now no. We have legal protection in 12 states & that has been true for a long time. Every attempt to expand our protections to new states has failed no thanks to Gay Inc. The only small step forward was the Federal Hate Crimes expansion that did include us and given how often we are murded that is something.

Ask me anything

The Final Trek

Some background, My eldest Husky Freki died form Lymphoma just before Thanksgiving. Since the 28^th of December I have had a splitting headache and decreasing appetite. I begin to feel that Freki just went on ahead to scout the way.

Through the snowy waste we move toward the distant mountain range. Freki lunges through the snow breaking a trail for me to follow.  As we push beyond the tree line I pause sweeting in my light grey fur lined leathers to survey the gently rising open land beyond. Just as Freki and I start up again Geri breaks from the forest behind us. I knew she would be close behind us, just not this close. We push on through the snow, Freki leading and Geri circling us both. Ahead is a dark spot that slowly resolves into a tall figure wearing dark leathers. It is directly in line with the path Freki is breaking for us. We will have to negotiate passage here I believe.

Just a fragment from my mind. 

Because You Can Never Have Too Much Cthulhu

More Random Reviews Of Stuff

Because an ‘injury to one is a injury to all’ I was happy to see DADT repeal go through and the court fight against Prop 8 continue successfully. What I was furious and angry at was the total failure of the Employment Non Discrimination Act to even get to committee much less out of it. This failure has Democratic and assimilationist cis gay fingerprints all over it. After unprecedented Congressional hearings at which trans women and trans men finally got to speak for them selves nothing happened. The Democratic leadership (looks at fat white boy Barney Frank) didn’t even bother to release proposed language for the bill. The HRC and its clones exerted exactly no pressure on anyone to advance the bill. The only time ENDA was mentioned after that was when trans activist managed to generate enough pressure to get a few ‘real soon now’ noises out of the Democrats and HRC. After the pressure dropped there was only silence.

ENDA is way more important then repealing DAT or DOMA, ENDA is a life or death issue for many of the TBLG community. In 29 states it’s perfectly legal to fire people or deny them any services because of their sexual orientation. In 38 states there is no protection for gender identity or presentation. That means that people are in danger from dying in the streets because they can’t access any services or get a job. This is not theoretical; it happens to trans women with depressing regularity. So the cis gay ‘activists’ and Democratic ‘leaders’ that have done squat to advance ENDA, you have blood on your hands scumbags.

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist.

A triple feature for 2011

All thinking men are atheists. — Ernest Hemingway

Lighthouses are more helpful then churches. — Benjamin Franklin

Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile. — Kurt Vonnegut

Are The Stars Come Round At Last?

Given the state of the world I wonder if the stars are finally right and Great Cthulhu has at last risen from his tomb?

A few images to ponder over;