Random Late Night Stuff

Nope not sure I can call these thoughts as I'm not sure I'm actually thinking any more.

So I've been on Estrogen patches for about 18 months, I really like this. The physical effects haven't been all that great though I do have boobs now, very sensitive boobs. What I love are the effects the estrogen and the reduction in testosterone have had on my mind. I am in touch with and can actually experience my emotions, I was very closed off before. So even though I'll never pass as the woman I am I'll never go back ever.

No I'm Not A Liberal

For all the must-vote-Democrat crowd you would do well to remember the good liberal Democrats escalated the war in Vietnam, voted for both Iraq and Afghanistan, urged Dr King to go slown and not rock the boat and have never even tried to repeal Taft-Hartley. For all of you this song from  Phil Oachs;

Yes I Am An Anrachist and A Atheist

A few quotes for the redoubtable Emma Goldman,

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal

 The philosophy of Atheism represents a concept of life without any metaphysical Beyond or Divine Regulator. It is the concept of an actual, real world with its liberating, expanding and beautifying possibilities, as against an unreal world, which, with its spirits, oracles, and mean contentment has kept humanity in helpless degradation.

 If I can't dance to it, it's not my revolution

May you all walk in beauty and harmony.

Politics, Big Whoop

Ah yes there is a presidential election going on. The Republicans having activly running since the middle of last year and now Romney has surged to victory in New Hampshire with a stunning 33% pf the vote. Put another way two thirds of the Republican voters in New Hampshire can't stand Romney's guts. Not so impresive a victory when looked at that way is it?

Not that any of this really matters much as the Republicans vary from very bad to the hideously awful and none of them should ever be allowed near the Oval Office. But more profoundly the whole election doesn't matter at all, the streets are where the future will be decided.

The Occupy movement for all it's flaws, it has many, has already had a major effect. The Democrats and the Republicans have been forced to at least pretend interest in jobs and economic inequality. Despite police raids and massed arrests the Occupy movement has not gone away and is instead forging new alliances with labor and other groups. The movement is also working to address it's problems such as lack of diversity,  sexism and trans misogyny.The Occupy movement is already widespread and is moving to increase it's depth.

Our current system is corrupt and broken, hopelessly so. I agree with Ted Rall in his The Anti-American Manifesto that we need a revolution and now. I'm hopefull that the Occupy movement is the beginning of that revolution because no matter who wins in November the 1% will still be calling the shots.

Late Night Depression (?)

I am depressed, clinically that is, but not nearly as depressed as I should be. My car has died and repairing it will cost almost all my money for the month leaving not enough to do things like keep the utilities on or get food. There may be ways around this and I'm working on it and that is what is different.

In the past I would have been too depressed to function but now I can. Oh I still have all the symptoms, tough to get out of bead, hard to concentrate and all the rest. But I can work around them now thanks to a lot of work with my therapist Dr. Cooper. This makes me feel very good.

So to all you suffering from depression I say it does get better. Yes it takes time and is a lot of work but with help you can overcome this.

Myths Debunked And Facts Given

The estimable Skepchic Natalie busts thirteen myths about trans women. She not only busts the myths but gives cold hard facts you can use to fight back against the bigots.

Extra special bonus, Natalie has started a new site, Queereka!

I Don't Identify As, I Am

The brilliant CN Letser has written a easy about why we need to retire the phrase 'self-identify' permanently. You really should go read it, I can wait so off you go. Back? Good so you can see why I'm dropping the whole 'self-identify' thing entirely. 

I AM a gender queer trans woman who sails the gender probability cloud.

Remember The Space Age?

Hey anybody hear old enough to remember the Space Age? What you say we are still in the Space Age, no not really. This coming December 19, 2012 will mark forty years since a human stood on another world. No nation can duplicate that feat now. Yes we can still get to low earth orbit, or at least China and Russia can. But we've been fooling around in low Earth orbit for a bit over 50 years now. The Apollo program was intended to lead to a space station and  maned lunar base but all that was canceled.

All the really important space science and discovery missions have been unnamed. Our robots have done wonders and could do much more if we re-routed the money from our maned space efforts. Think what we could have done with the money wasted on the now canceled Constellation program?
 Not that the U.S. space program is the only exercise in  futility, the russins have spent the last decade trying to come up with a successor to the Soyuz with out geting anything past the initial planing stage. As of now the only space program showing any real progress is the Chinese space program.

The whole concept of the Space Age was that orbital flights, space stations and lunar missions were just the first steps to Mars and beyond to a permanent human presence in space. We aren't even close to those goals. The ISS may be de-orbited as early as 2015 and won't last past 2020 in any case. If we're lucky China will be just starting to build their own space station then if their economy doesn't implode the way the west's has.

The Space Age was all bright and shiny when it started 50 years ago but that faded out in a little over a decade. If we're lucky in another decade or so we may have a new Space Age and this time the promise will be fulfilled.  But for now all we have are fading memories and some  Hollywood glitz, kind of sad really.

Restarting A Series

Ah yes the end of year, a time for reflection and ten best lists. Well screw all that let's go back to the stories of trans* pioneers shall we?

Roberta Cowell, WW II Spitfire Pilot, race car driver and the first known British male-to-female transsexual to undergo sex reassignment surgery. This was all the way back on 15 May, 1951 just short of her 30th birthday. This occurred two years before Christine Jorgensen's surgery in Denmark. Roberta, now 90 is still with us and I hope happy and well. She wrote her autobiagraphy,Roberta Cowell's Story, now sadly out of print but still available used.

The incredible courage Roberta Cowell displayed transitioning publicly when she did is to be admired and saluted.

Full Diclosure

I'm Natasha Yar-Routh, it says so right on the masthead. But as some of you know that is not my legal name, that is Barry Scott Routh. You see being gender queer for me means having two lives.

I'm one life, the one I'm coming to prefer, I'm Natasha the person you know from this blog and on twitter. In the other I'm Barry. A married, well not man but person, with a job and all that.

Increasingly my worlds are blending into each other so starting here I'm going to be as open as I can about this. For various reasons my legal name will most probably never change even though I identify as Natasha. Of course I don't look like a Natasha do I?

Not really that fem am I? Yet I feel very fem most time.

Ah well enough self confession tonight, sleep well all of you.