Today was a reasonably big day for me, I bought my first ever bras for myself. I bought them at The Wizard Of Bras and wizards they are. They went out of their way to make me comfortable and find me three bras that fit me. They are also extremely trans* friendly. If you need a bra and are in Southern California this is the place to go.
The bra shopping expedition was just another step on my gender journey, a journey that is accelerating. I present as more femme every day even though I'm stuck, for the moment, with male pattern baldness. So though I'll never pass I'm still going to express my stone femme self. Yes I often feel nervous about peoples reaction to me but I can't lead my life in fear of other peoples reactions, not and stay sane. So I dress to please myself and negotiate with the world on my presentation. Selfish? Maybe but other people expecting me to conform to their norms is even more selfish I think.
Mostly this is a journey into the unknown for this old broad. Two years as an Extrogen based life form and counting.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Some random Thoughts In The Early Evening
Sitting here in a lovely Korean Coffee house sipping a peach Italian soda while my friend composes what is sure to be a brilliant presentation my thoughts wander.
There are fireworks going off all round the neighborhood reminding me that it is the 4th of July. A surprisingly good look at the events surrounding the writing of the Deceleration of Independence is provided by 1776, a musical comedy. One of the things it points out in song is that the northern shipping fortunes were as dependent on the slave trade as the south was. It is usually forgotten that slavery wasn't finally abolished in the north until 1865 though most northern slaves were freed between 1777 and 1804. The point here is we would do well to remember that this nation was founded on conquest, genocide and slavery. We would do well to be a little humbled before we proclaim ourselves a light unto the world.
There are fireworks going off all round the neighborhood reminding me that it is the 4th of July. A surprisingly good look at the events surrounding the writing of the Deceleration of Independence is provided by 1776, a musical comedy. One of the things it points out in song is that the northern shipping fortunes were as dependent on the slave trade as the south was. It is usually forgotten that slavery wasn't finally abolished in the north until 1865 though most northern slaves were freed between 1777 and 1804. The point here is we would do well to remember that this nation was founded on conquest, genocide and slavery. We would do well to be a little humbled before we proclaim ourselves a light unto the world.
A Few Reasons To Vote For Obama
I know there are many reasons to not vote for Obama in November, more deportations the Bush, continuing and intensifying human rights abuses like drone strikes and more help for the banksters then their victims. Still I think there are a few compelling reasons to vote for Obama.
The big one is the Supreme Court, there could be up to four vacancies over the next four years. As the recent Citizens United and ACA decisions show even one vote can be vital. Obama will appoint nice safe moderates, Romney will appoint hard right religious bigots to pay off his base. The damage they will do will extend over decades. Add all the Federal Court appointments over the next four years and I think you get a compelling case for Obama.
Then there is the economy, yes the economy. I know Obama has been less then stellar on economic issues, a too small stimulus and the buying into the Republicans self serving deficit hawk narrative. Still while the stimulus was too small to jump start the economy again it did stop the slide into the abyss. Also Obama has realized his mistake in accepting the austerity party line and has moved back to stimulus measures. As a result despite all the Republican efforts to sabotage everything the economy is growing, very slowly but growing.
A Romney administration will be Bush II on steroids. He will privatize everything which will mean massive layoffs and reduced wages for the new private employes. This of course will be combined with more huge tax cuts going mostly to the 0.1% which should help set new deficit records. Oh and regulations, what few the Democrats actually passed, they will be scraped and we'll be off on a new financial bubble and bust cycle. The next recession/depression, and there will be another one, will be worse then the last and probably come fairly soon. So while things aren't good now they could be much worse.
Then there is the not so minor, to me, matter of QTBLG rights. There has been at least some progress under Obama. Under Romney that will stop and there will be a concentrated effort to role back all progress made in the last 50 years.
You may have noticed there has already been a concentrated effort to role back woman's and reproductive rights. Now the Federal government provides some counterbalance to these state level assaults. With Romney in charge the Federal government it will lend it's weight to the rollback effort rather the opposing it.
My favorite reason to re-elect Obama is the absolute apoplectic rage it will provoke in the conservatives. Yes I am a sadistic little bitch.
The big one is the Supreme Court, there could be up to four vacancies over the next four years. As the recent Citizens United and ACA decisions show even one vote can be vital. Obama will appoint nice safe moderates, Romney will appoint hard right religious bigots to pay off his base. The damage they will do will extend over decades. Add all the Federal Court appointments over the next four years and I think you get a compelling case for Obama.
Then there is the economy, yes the economy. I know Obama has been less then stellar on economic issues, a too small stimulus and the buying into the Republicans self serving deficit hawk narrative. Still while the stimulus was too small to jump start the economy again it did stop the slide into the abyss. Also Obama has realized his mistake in accepting the austerity party line and has moved back to stimulus measures. As a result despite all the Republican efforts to sabotage everything the economy is growing, very slowly but growing.
A Romney administration will be Bush II on steroids. He will privatize everything which will mean massive layoffs and reduced wages for the new private employes. This of course will be combined with more huge tax cuts going mostly to the 0.1% which should help set new deficit records. Oh and regulations, what few the Democrats actually passed, they will be scraped and we'll be off on a new financial bubble and bust cycle. The next recession/depression, and there will be another one, will be worse then the last and probably come fairly soon. So while things aren't good now they could be much worse.
Then there is the not so minor, to me, matter of QTBLG rights. There has been at least some progress under Obama. Under Romney that will stop and there will be a concentrated effort to role back all progress made in the last 50 years.
You may have noticed there has already been a concentrated effort to role back woman's and reproductive rights. Now the Federal government provides some counterbalance to these state level assaults. With Romney in charge the Federal government it will lend it's weight to the rollback effort rather the opposing it.
My favorite reason to re-elect Obama is the absolute apoplectic rage it will provoke in the conservatives. Yes I am a sadistic little bitch.
Day 30 Of The Gender Queer Challenge
The question for the thirtieth and last day of the gender queer challenge is. What does Genderqueer mean to you?
Oh that is a good one, especially for the last question. Gender queer means being free to explore all the wonderful possibilities of gender to find the mix that fits me best. It means my gender can change as I do with age. It means being open and accepting of others genders what ever they may be. Most of all ity means I'm truly me for the first time in my life and I've never been more comfortable with myself.
Oh that is a good one, especially for the last question. Gender queer means being free to explore all the wonderful possibilities of gender to find the mix that fits me best. It means my gender can change as I do with age. It means being open and accepting of others genders what ever they may be. Most of all ity means I'm truly me for the first time in my life and I've never been more comfortable with myself.
Day 29 Of The Gender Queer Challenge
The question for today is: Some positive Genderqueer experiences.
OK, this is a hard one. Not that I haven't had many positive experiences since I realized I'm gender queer it's just that they are bound up with so many other things. Was it just because I'm gender queer that I've met some wonderful people who are now good friends? The therapy that has helped me so much did I start that just because I was gender queer? being gender queer informs and weaves through my entire life now, it touches everything I do and am.
OK, this is a hard one. Not that I haven't had many positive experiences since I realized I'm gender queer it's just that they are bound up with so many other things. Was it just because I'm gender queer that I've met some wonderful people who are now good friends? The therapy that has helped me so much did I start that just because I was gender queer? being gender queer informs and weaves through my entire life now, it touches everything I do and am.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Day 28 Of The Gender Queer Challenge
The question for day 28 is; Who are some people in your life, on or offline, who make your life
better? Your relationship doesn’t have to be related to queerness.
First I don't have that many people in my life period. One person who makes my life better all the time is Alexander Yoo my current best friend, My lovely S.O. makes my life wonderful most of the time but her inability to deal with my being gender queer also causes much pain. Carla Irene Anderson who helped so much during our last move and whose struggles so often mirror my own. Then there are all the wonderful people I know online who so often have extended a helping hand, inspired me and made me think.
First I don't have that many people in my life period. One person who makes my life better all the time is Alexander Yoo my current best friend, My lovely S.O. makes my life wonderful most of the time but her inability to deal with my being gender queer also causes much pain. Carla Irene Anderson who helped so much during our last move and whose struggles so often mirror my own. Then there are all the wonderful people I know online who so often have extended a helping hand, inspired me and made me think.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Day 27 Of The Gender Queer Challange
The task for today is Write a poem about being Genderqueer. (if you struggle, try a haiku,
acrostic poem with your name, or just a stream of conciousness
paragraph). Allright then lets see what I can come up with.
I dance in the gender cloud
I change and morph my gender as I will
My will makes the gender probabilities real
I dance not in the spaces you know but beyond them
I am gender queer and delight in this
I dance in the gender queer cloud of infinite possibilities
I dance to become
I dance in the gender cloud
I change and morph my gender as I will
My will makes the gender probabilities real
I dance not in the spaces you know but beyond them
I am gender queer and delight in this
I dance in the gender queer cloud of infinite possibilities
I dance to become
Monday, June 18, 2012
Day 26 Of The Gender Queer Challange
The question for day 26 is Discuss how your clothes do or don’t reflect your gender.
Until recently my clothes didn't reflect my gender. In the last few months, however, I have acquired some woman's shoes, shirts and camisoles. Now I mix and match my clothes depending on my mood and what I'm doing that day. I'll dress any where from mostly male with just jewelry and nail polish to all woman's clothes and just my boy jeans. As I expand my wardrobe I'm going to have even more fun.
Until recently my clothes didn't reflect my gender. In the last few months, however, I have acquired some woman's shoes, shirts and camisoles. Now I mix and match my clothes depending on my mood and what I'm doing that day. I'll dress any where from mostly male with just jewelry and nail polish to all woman's clothes and just my boy jeans. As I expand my wardrobe I'm going to have even more fun.
I'm Back
In case you haven't noticed I've been absent for a while. I'm in the middle of a move from California to New Mexico.
However inspired by the brilliant Natalie Reed I've decided to start posting again. I'm starting by finishing up the 30 day gender queer challenge. A littke kate I know but I still have things to say.
However inspired by the brilliant Natalie Reed I've decided to start posting again. I'm starting by finishing up the 30 day gender queer challenge. A littke kate I know but I still have things to say.
Monday, May 21, 2012
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