Day 12 Of The Gender Queer Challenge

For day twelve the question is Discuss your relationship with the term transgender.

A bit problamatic, I identified as androgynous and gender queer before I added transgender to the mix. What changed was the growing realization that my femme side was predominate.

I still have doubts that I'm really transgender or maybe not transgender enough. Part of my problem is that I am gender fluid, my femme side is not always predominate. But my femme side is the dominate side most of the time. Given that I'm taking Estrogen now I'd say that I'm truly a trans woman, a gender queer woman but a trans woman nonetheless.

Day 11 Of The Gender Queer Challenge

My, my day eleven and a interesting question, Your first experience with a GSM organization or event.

My first experience grew from my online questioning and looking for information on transgender and gender queer identities. One of the online discussion groups was Gender Queer Revolution. After a while they started a series of Coffe Chats. I found acceptance and support in theses meetings. I am still gratefully beyond measure for them.

Day 10 Of The Gender Queer Challenge

W00T! We are a third of the way through with the tenth question,Are you taking any steps to physically transition?

Oh yes indeedy I am. I'm taking two 100mg Spironolactone to suppress Testosterone production and I wear a Climara patch delivering 0.1mg of Estradiol a day. All this has delivered very satisfactory results so far.

Day 9 Of The Gender Queer Challenge

I'm running out of ways to say this but it's another day in the Gender Queer challenge. The question today is What have you done or plan to do to socially transition? Pronouns, name, coming out, etc.?

Interestiningly I came up with my chosen name, Natasha, before I had admitted to myself that I was gender queer. I set up a Yahoo mail account to get technical support answers while out at a clients and picked the name Natasha Yar on what I thought was a whim. It was apparently my subconscious telling me something as that email account eventually led me to the discussion group that finally triggered my self realization.

As for being out that depends on the setting. I am not out at work at all. I am out to my S.O. But she does not except me as a woman but does crept that I have a strong femme side. I am totally out to my queer friends and will often use my chosen name socially and public settings.

I don't have that much femminine clothing but I do wear that out when the mood takes me. I
Refer gender neutral pronouns and use them when I can. Where I have to chose I will use femminine pronouns.

Day 8 Of The Gender Queer Challenge

Well, another day, another question An unpopular or unsure opinion about the GSM community.

I'm embarrassed to admit I had to look up what GSM meant. So about the Gender and Sexual Minority community, I'm unsure why so many in the GSM community seem so eager to replicate the class and race devision of the cis white male dominated straight community in the GSM community.

Rich white cis gay men dominate and run roughshod over the GSM community the same way their straight counterparts do over scociety at large. Because the rich white cis men who run the HRC, among other organizations, want marriage privilege for themselves this becomes the major fight. Meanwhile measures that mean life and death to the gender part of the GSM community are ignored or sidetracked. Measures that mean life or death to the poor in the sexual part of the GSM community are likewise ignored or sidetracked.

I suppose what it comes down to is that the cis gay men who dominate the HRC and the such are just another part of the 1%.

Day 7 Of The Gender Queer Challenge

Wow a whole week gone! Question seven is What are your favorite physical features of yourself?

Well, I've always liked my legs, I do a lot of walking so they've always been in good shape. I also like my eyes. They are hazel with decent lashes that I'm quite good at fluttering. My newest feature that I love are my boobs. Eighteen months of Estrogen and Spiro have given me a fairly nice pair.

The rst of me is a mess at the moment but there are many changes to come

Day 6 Of The Gender Queer Challenge

Moving on today's question isWhen did you realize you were Genderqueer?

Well, that happened about 12 years ago and all because of the web comic  Venus Envy. In reading the emails in the Yahoo group devoted to Venus Envy I came across a little allegory of pirates and ninjas and how Zorro combined a bit of both with a dash of style. I knew there was a reason I always loved Zorro. That post lead me to the Androgyne discussion group and the light bulb going on effect of self recognition. I knew then I was Gender Queer though I didn't actually come across that term for several more months.

Late Night Thoughts Rattling Around My Mind

Listing to Glen Fry's the Smuggler's Blues and thinking how drug prohibition was driven more by bureaucratic power grabbing then any actual science. Harry J. Anslinger was worried he would be out of a job with the end of alcohol prohibition so he ginned up a 'drug crises' to give himself job security and grab some more power. Nixon crated the war on drugs for much the same reason. Government policy has always been driven by greed and corruption as much as anything else. That's the main reason I'm an anarchist.

Speaking of greed and corruption things aren't looking too good for organized religion of any stripe right now. In fact the mask seems to have slipped badly revealing a sordid reality that makes a Mafia crime family look benign by comparison.

Me I think I'm riding an Estrogen high right now so I think I'll sign off for the night.

Day 5 Of The Gender Queer Challenge

Ah we are marching on aren't we? Well, here is question five, Dysphoria and how you manage it.

This is a bit harder than it may seem for me to answer. In some ways I do have body dysphoria in other ways I don't. The image I have in my head varies but mostly is that of a femme intersex body with muscles.  Very far away form the way I look or am ever likely to look.

Now that I think of it my dysphoria is one of the drivers of my depression, not at all unusual among trans people. No wonder I tend to sleep away the day.

Day 4 Of The Gender Queer Challenge

For the fourth day Gender Queer challenge the question is Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes.

Well this ones easy as my number one hero, influence and crush is all wraped up in the same person, Alaxander Yoo creator of GenderQueer Revolution. Really without Alexander's help I wouldn't have gotten through to this point. Then there is the very wise Rabbi Levi Alter who taught this atheist much about the high esteem trans people are held in the bible and other such unknown bits of trans history. Of course there's Auntie Kate Bornstein hero and inspiration to us all. Genesis P-Orridge who's still pushing the artistic frontiers. Then there's MX Justin Viviane Bond who has given me my new favorite gender pronoun, Mx. Just call Mx Natasha Yar-Routh. There's Venus De Mars the brilliant leader of the hard rock group All The Pretty Horses. Finally last but certainly not least there were the fabulous Cockettes , a troop of performance artists who first opened my eyes to the wonderful posibilities of Gender Queer.