It’s Always Darkest Just Before It Goes Pitch Black

Are you one of those deluded people who believe in progress? The kind that thinks things will always get better and that everything if for a good purpose? Well you are a deluded fool. There is no grand design or purpose for this world. Nothing lasts forever and everything dies eventually. You are NOT the crown of creation or anyone special. In a thousand years or so 99.999% of everyone living today will be totally forgotten. Taken in the proper perspective the human species amounts to nothing and our \only mark on the world will be helping trigger a mass extinction.

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist

The Bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma – Abraham Lincoln

Thoughts For A Dying Empire

An occasional series, which I hope, will illuminate the twilight of the American Empire

This is an empire which is on the one hand the most powerful empire that ever existed; on the other hand an empire that is crumbling -- an empire that has no future because the rest of the world is alienated and simply because this empire is top-heavy with military commitments, with bases around the world, with the exhaustion of its own resources at home. – Howard Zinn

Yes I am an Anarchist

The Winds Of Limbo

I have been living in Limbo between the cis and trans worlds for so long it’s beginning to feel like home. I have a new appointment with Dr. Maddie Deutsch this Thursday and now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t cancel it. Maybe Limbo is my home now. To walk forever between the worlds not really part of any of them, I wonder f this is such a bad existence? I have, after all always been a misfit of one sort or the other and have always felt the call of the abyss. Or maybe this is my natural cowardice asserting it’s self and I’m just afraid of the changes this could entail in my life. Or on the third hand maybe I just like not fitting in. I do fnd the winds of Limbo comforting in their own way.

Late Nigh And Random

As I’ve mentioned I have two huskies. Because of this I sleep on the edge of a California King bed. The Huskies have the rest.

Why are most straight cis men so anxious that they might not be perceived as sufficiently masculine? The merest hint that of any thing feminine in their behavior or appearance is enough to set off an apocalyptic rage.

I have a number of particularly slimy S & M sexual fantasies running around my brain. If any ones interested I will write a few out. I may do it even if you, my dear readers, aren’t interested.

I, Pansexual

I identify as a Pansexual gender queer trans woman. So what you may ask is a pansexual, just a fancy word for bisexual? No, a bisexual conforms to the gender binary in being attracted to men or women. This usually, but not always, means cis sexual men or women. As a pansexual I can be and have been physically attracted to cis men and women, trans men and women as well as to those gender queers and androgyne’s who are neither/both.

Of course I have seen cis gays proclaim that being pansexual is impossible as there are only men or women. These narrow minded assimilationist little twerps have not a clue and are blinded by their own cis privilege. Many cis gays and lesbians will even deny that bisexual is a real sexual orientation and that bisexuals just haven’t come out of the closet yet. That is more assimilationist crap, they really may as well be straight.

As for me I prefer to leave myself open to the possibility of love with humans in all their glorious and messy diversity.

A Day Of Fail

Wednesday was not a good day for me at all, at least on a personal level. It was not too bad on a business level but personally a disaster. To start I ran long at a customer ste and had to cancel my therapy appointment, a very bad thing given the stress in my life at the moment. The big disappointment of the day was an appointment I kept however. I was seeing Dr. Maddie Deutsch at the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center. It had taken a long time to save up the money and work up the courage to go see her regarding starting HRT. I got there at 1:00 PM to finish paperwork and do a orientation with the actual doctors appointment at 2:15 PM. At 2:00 PM I was still sitting in the waiting room with no paperwork to fill out. There was work backing up so I left. I felt both sad and relieved. Sad at the wasted time and money, parking in Hollywood is expensive, as well as the failure of my dream of transition. Relieved at not having to have the ‘talk’ with Lyne about why HRT was so important to me. But the part of me that is desperate for HRT and the changes it will bring has not gone away or shut up. So I will take the advice if the great W.C. Fields, ‘If at fist you don’t succeed try, try again. Then give up before you make a damn fool of yourself.’ So I will try twice more than give up because the Universe is trying to tell me that transition is not for me.

Thoughts For A Dying Empire

An occasional series, which I hope, will illuminate the twilight of the American Empire

The character of a bourgeois government isn’t determined by the personal character of its members, but by its organic function in bourgeois society. The government of the modern state is essentially an organization of class domination, the regular functioning of which is one of the conditions of existence of the class state. With the entry of a socialist into the government, and class domination continuing to exist, the bourgeois government doesn’t transform itself into a socialist government, but a socialist transforms himself into a bourgeois minister.. – Rosa Luxemberg

That should tell you everything you need to know about Obama in particular and the Democratic Party in general. .

Yes I am an Anarchist.

A Tuesday Random Thirteen Because I Need To Remember How To Blog

Khanada by Duran Duran
Sabbath Bloody Sabbath by Anthrax
Sal Pa’ Fuera by Puya
L.A. Woman by Billy Idol
Behind Blue Eyes by The Who
Dust Of Time by Hawkwind
Country Honk by The Rolling Stones
Pure And Easy by The Who
Feed On Me by Judas Priest
Notorious by Duran Duran
Sleepy Time Time by Cream
Jam Stew by Deep Purple
Love Unchained by Billy Idol

A Quick One Before I Go

Going to be traveling tomorrow so I only have time for a quick reflection. As much as I love civilization it has been since the beginning all about control. Religion was a major aspect of that. It represented an attempt to control a world humans did not then understand and was a excellent way to control the population by offering them eternal reward or punishment depending on how well they obeyed the dictates of the power elite. Religon also gives you sin a neat way to control many of life’s pleasures as well as curb some of humanities darker and more destructive urges. Then there is my least favorite means of control, strict gender roles. Authoritarian states tend to brutally enforce very strict and quite limited gender roles. They have no tolerance for sexual or gender ambiguity or non-conformance. So if you’re Gender Queer or Transgender mearly by living your life you are rebellion.