Time To Stop Ironing My Hands

I Harry Potter Dobby the house elf punishes himself for any disobedience to his master, one time he irons his hands. It is a literal embodiment of the way we all punish ourselves for perceived failures and transgressions. Dobby final escapes the compulsion to punish him self when he gets a piece of clothing, a old sock, from his master and is free.

Well I want to free myself from the self-punishment game to. Rather it is for some error I made at work or for transgressing society’s gender norms I want to move beyond a destructive round of self-flagellation. So I have decided to hold my own clothing gift ceremony. I’m going to find some piece of clothing, probably high femme, and gift to myself. I want to create a little ceremony for this, something to mark a change in my life.

I would be happy to take any suggestions on the ceremony and will report on how things are shaping up. Stay tuned….

A Roll Of The Queer Dice

Yes this is another of those random stream of consciousness screeds.

I live on many edges, the financial edge, the mental edge and the gender edge. The financial edge because I’ve taken two pay cuts since the beginning of the year to keep my job. My debt load was just manageable at my old salary, now it’s a scramble just to survive. All that pressure does not help my stress levels. The stress is pushing me to the edge of a major depressive episode. Having been over that edge I don’t want to go back. Pulling me along that edge is the gender edge as I try to live with a fluid sense of my own gender. I do my best to embrace uncertainty and ambiguity in regards to gender and sexual orientation. Maybe that’s why I like Aeon Flux so much after all she is the edge. Meanwhile I dance on the edge and sometimes long for the abyss.

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist

Religion is based, I think, primarily and mainly upon fear. It is partly the terror of the unknown and partly, as I have said, the wish to feel that you have a kind of elder brother who will stand by you in all your troubles and disputes. Fear is the basis of the whole thing -- fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death. Fear is the parent of cruelty, and therefore it is no wonder if cruelty and religion have gone hand in hand. – Bertrand Russell

Am I Trans Enough For You Baby?

That is a question I often ask myself, I didn’t go through many of the extreme examples of gender dysphoria that many trans people go through. I have never felt so much that I was a woman as that I was not a man. Some things I do are very femme, others more male or is that butch? Which is it, am I a mostly femme sometimes butch trans-woman or a gender queer man with a strong femme side? Maybe I’m something else entirely.

I just found this wonderful graphic that so totally explains my feelings written by a female bodied Gender Queer Trans Man.

So yes I am trans, transcending the gender binary because I don’t fit within it at all. I want to transgress societies gender rules completely. I want to transform gender so everyone can find a gender identity that is comfortable for them.

NOTE: Un fortunately the transcension graphic story has been deleted. I will try to track it down and post a new link.

The Real Reason For The Decline Of The Republic

At the founding of the United States of America, Americans drank more alcohol than at any time before or since: Five gallons of pure alcohol per person per year as opposed to two gallons today.

The founding fathers, the minutemen, the Continental Army hell the whole country where a bunch of alcoholics. Booze, it’s what made America great. So get to drinking if you want to restore the Republic to greatness.

Hat tip to Doggy Style

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist

The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weakness, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still purely primitive, legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this. – Albert Einstien

A Long Nights Journey Into Incoherence

I am dead tired so don’t expect even the small amount of sense I occasionally can muster.

I am Queer and enjoy being a queer. Time and circumstances may leave me looking sort of straight, except for the light makeup and five ear piercing, but I’m not in the least. I’m a gender queer stone femme sissy who wants everyone to be free to be their real selves whatever that may be. I tried fitting in and it just led to a dark depression. I may have waited too long to discover my true self to present the way I truly want to but it’s all still here inside.

Too tired to continue right now, good night all.

Atheist Quote Of A Random Day

A continuing feature of this blog brought to you by just another atheist

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. Voltaire

A Long Nights Journey Into Flem

Why yes I am coughing my lungs out thank you, another random ramble this time fueled by being sick.

Being sick reminds me of how much I’ve depended on modern, evidence-based medicine to keep me alive. I had pneumonia when I was a kid and without modern medicine I probably would not have lived to see middle school. Which is why I am so pissed of at the anti-vaccination idiots. . These rambling loons are killing people.

To take up to a larger view it seems science and reason are under assault from the right and the left. You wouldn’t be reading these words without rational thinking and science, don’t let some religious nitwit tell you otherwise

Another Late Night Ramble

I have no idea where I’m going but going I am.

Yesterday was the First International Blasphemy day, so a day late some serious blasphemy. To quote Patti Smith, Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine. Muhammad was a third rate poet and there is no Allah or any other god. There are lot’s of gods and goddesses all claiming to be the true one all backed by some sacred text or other. They can’t all be true but they all can be false.

Well that was fun, sort of.

Tired, night all